Understanding your "why"

There is this buzz phrase among Beachbody coaches that's all about "Understanding your 'why'" and the concept is that you have to regularly revisit why you got into the business, and what your goals are so that you don't lose momentum. When I first chose to become a Beachbody coach, I went along with the trend and considered my reasoning, but since then I've felt a compulsion to assess this in the other areas of my life.

I've been thinking about the "why" a lot since last night. While watching the Biggest Loser, we got into a discussion about why so many of the contestants ultimately fail and gain the weight back after the finale and they go back to their 'normal' lives. The problem is that often times the contestants aren't committed to the journey for the sake of their health, but rather the cash prize at the end. I understand that competition is a great motivator, but I think in many of the contestants cases, that becomes the goal, not reclaiming their lives. Their "why" is out of whack! I said in that moment, that I was glad that I never had a quick fix, an easy solution or a big cash prize that I was working for on my journey. I have literally had to fight for every pound that I've lost. I've calculated every calorie, measured every ingredient, and sweated out every calorie with hours of cardio. This is not about me saying that I'm better than them, it's that I know that going back is never an option for me, it's been too hard to get where I am, but the only reason that I've been able to get where I am is because I have a clear "why".

When I started trying to lose weight, I was miserable. I hated myself and rarely left the house because I was so embarrassed of my size, and most of the time I didn't even get out of my pajamas. When I finally decided that it was time to lose the weight, it wasn't just about looking better, and while that was obviously part of the motivation, it had a lot more to do with other bigger factors. I've been overweight my whole life. Even as a very young child, I was overweight, and by the time I was a teenager I was clearly obese, and growing up as a "fat kid" is one of the most emotionally crippling experiences. Plain and simple, kids are mean. I remember daily coming home from school in tears because I was called "fat" or yet another joke was made about it not being over until the fat lady sings, and being taunted to sing, or the group of boys grimacing in disgust as they taunted one of their own telling me that he liked me. Never being able to shop at the same stores as my peers, wearing "old lady clothes" instead of the trendy teenage clothing because nothing came in my size. There was no "Juniors Plus" department when I was a kid. Long story short, it was painful. I hated every minute of my chubby childhood, and I didn't ever want my children to experience that same sort of pain, but how could I expect them to eat healthily avoid the junk food and be active when I wasn't setting that example?!

Another big factor comes back to one of 3 books that top my list as changing my mentality fundamentally. Almost 4 years ago now, I read the book "For Women Only" which I had received as a wedding gift. From page 1 I was engrossed in this book, but the final chapter is what rocked my world. This last chapter discusses how not taking care of yourself can show your spouse that you don't care about them, and of course I'm not doing it justice by clearly not explaining the concept as well as it is in the book, but the point is that just like in our relationship with God, we honor our spouse, when we take good care of ourselves. On the more physical level, men are visual creatures, this is why the porn videos are a multi-billion dollar industry with the vast majority of the patrons being men. A man will be more attracted to his wife when she is taking care of herself because not only does it show him that she cares for him, but tends to amplify her confidence, and flat out, confidence is sexy. For me, this struck right to the heart. I have an overwhelming love and respect for my husband. I whole-heartedly believe that he is the most amazing man currently living on the planet. Had Christ never lived as a man, that last sentence would have read "the most amazing man that ever lived." The point is that I know even at my lowest he loved me and I didn't ever want him to be embarrassed of me. I wanted him to always find me attractive, and to be happy to introduce me to co-workers or friends, and I didn't ever want him to be the butt of jokes because of his "fat wife." My "why" was clear. It was for my husband and my girls, and that has never changed. Sure there has been extra push to lose weight for particular events, but that's never been the destination, just another stop on the journey.

Anyway, I tell this story because I think this is an important concept. Why do you invest your time in the things that you do? Why lead a particular group? Why try to lose weight, or make extra money? When you have a goal with a firm "why" you want to achieve it, you will be more successful in achieving it and a reason not to give up when the journey gets tough.