Weight loss: The Good, The Bad and The UGLY

First off I want to preface this by saying, this gets a little personal. If you're squeemish, or a man, you probably want to stop reading, but if you choose to continue, know that I warned you and I certainly do NOT want to hear about your reactions to this post outside of the interwebs. K, Thanks!

I write a lot about weight loss, and honestly what I write is far less than how much I think about it. It's a consuming mentality actually. At any given moment if you could hear my thoughts you would likely be overwhelmed by calorie calculations, meal planning, assessing physical capabilities for my next workout, planning my next workout, thinking about what the scale said this morning, wondering what the scale will say tomorrow morning, thinking horrible thoughts about the pooch that still remains around my mid-section, admiring the muscle definition of my arms in any reflective surface, etc. The fact is I'm obsessed, and I admit it.

The Good

By and large, I am very proud of what I've accomplished thus far with my weight loss journey. I can certainly attest to all of the positive attributes of weight loss, increased energy, better attitude, lower cholesterol (not that it was bad, I mean come on I'm 26!), better posture, sleeping better, more confidence, etc. It certainly is way more fun to shop now, and I can wear heels all day without feeling like I need to cut my feet off. I mean have you really ever thought about trying to balance a truck on a tin can?! That's about the same concept when I used to try to wear heels. Sure there's tons of attention, my husband is way more into me, I get a lot of compliments, and most of the time I feel pretty good about myself. But this is only one part of the equation.

The Bad

The fact of the matter is that weight loss isn't all glamorous. It takes a lot of hard work, a lot of time spent gross and sweaty and exhausted from pushing your body to it's physical limits. It means that sometimes you have to look across the table and see your spouse dining on a delicious prosciutto ravioli in a rich cream sauce with a side car of crusty Italian bread with real sweet cream butter, while you send back your tilapia and steamed broccoli, because it's salted or dripping with oil and you ordered it dry. It means that sometimes, it's better to just dine at home, because the thought of not knowing if your meal was prepared as you requested is overwhelming. The process means your probably going to stink...A LOT. If it's not from sweating, and the body odor associated with physical activity, it's the by-products of a diet rich in fiber and natural foods. (Please tell me you got that and I don't have to spell it out for you).

There is a new appreciation that I've developed for the undergarment industry, though, particularly Victoria and her secrets, and the ultra padded push-up bra. You see, it seems that the first area of the body to lose weight is the chest. In other words, kiss your girls goodbye! While I never much appreciated the ultra large DD breasts that I developed during pregnancy and nursing my children, I will say that a little more than an A cup might be nice...at least a full B...please! The thing is that without the assistance of an ultra padded bra, sometimes it's hard to feel feminine. Not that it's anywhere near the same level, but I certainly have a greater sense of empathy for mastectomy patients. And then of course, there is the ugly...

THE UGLY

Do me a favor, take the shirt of a toddler and stretch it over your husband. Have him wear it for about a week, continually tugging on the fabric, so that he can make it "fit." After that week, try to put the shirt on the toddler, and watch it hang off of their small body, shapeless and over sized. This is not dissimilar to what has happened with my skin. You see when you take something meant to house about 135 lbs of bones and muscle and you stretch it to cover 275lbs of fat and then take that fat out, no matter how many squats, crunches, bicep curls or how heavy of weights you lift, it's never going to fit the 135 lb frame properly. You're encouraged to "show off your new body" but the fact is that the body is ugly, it's droopy like an old woman. I wear my pants too high to hide the sagging skin on my stomach, I only wear Bermuda shorts or swimwear with attached skirts, to hide the skin on my thighs and I've become consumed with finding products to try and re-tighten the skin, in any means possible, without resorting to surgery. And so every day, I am going for another procedure, wrapping another body part in plastic wrap, or slathering on another layer of firming gel, all in hopes that some day, I might actually have some semblance of the body I've hoped for. Instead of being 26 in an 80 year old's body. So, I wonder if I will ever be happy in the body that I have.

So, I implore you this. PLEASE, if you have even just a little bit of weight to lose, do it now. It's easier to lose a few pounds than to have to work off over 100, not to mention, there's hope for your skin to recover, and you likely won't experience quite as dramatic a loss of your girls. Do it for yourself, before it's too late.