The word "no" is small but mighty, just like the intensity of sbd fart in a crowded room. We find plenty of times where the phrase "just say no" is so applicable and easy to utter. Talking to a teenager about peer pressure and drugs and alcohol--Just say NO, to an already intoxicated friend reaching for another cocktail--Just say NO, to our weight conscious friend reaching for the slice of chocolate cake--Just say NO, to the fashion impaired husband who thinks he needs another Hawaiian shirt--Just say NO. In these instances the word 'no' rolls off our tongue with ease and precision, without issue, cutting right to the point. There is no uncertainty that in any of these situations our opinion is clear, no ambiguity, the answer is NO.
This is the same case with my children when strolling through the store every item on the shelf is cue for the request "Can I have this?" Often times with them not even knowing what 'this' is. NO. "Honey there is a great deal on a 52" HDTV, don't you think we should get it while it's on sale?!" NO. It seems so easy...why then is it so difficult to utter this small little 2-letter word when it really matters? When we really have no interest in participating in a certain event, purchasing a particular product or even performing a voluntary task? Let's be honest, how many times have you gone to yet another home party, knowing full well that you had no need, interest or desire to purchase any of the product being offered, just because you were too chicken to say no? How many times have you begrudgingly given up a Saturday to help a friend move for the 15th time in 3 years just because you couldn't utter the word no, or worse you made up some stupid sorry excuse as to what other task you had to accomplish just to avoid saying no? How many times have you gotten roped into the 20 minute presentation for the Dead Sea Salt Scrub at the mall kiosk because you didn't just say no? I'm not judging...I do it too.
I've always felt anxiety over this word. I guess it's the natural tendency to try and be a people pleaser. Not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings, I've always consented to things that I didn't want or didn't want to do. It wasn't until recently that I was placed on the receiving end of the response that I've found a new confidence with voicing my disinterest.
Working with Team Beachbody it is my job to present fitness and nutrition products and the coaching business opportunity to people who may or may not be interested, and there is really no way to know if someone might have an interest until I offer it to them. I can't tell you how much frustration I am met with when someone feigns interest. For those of you who have never worked sales of any kind there is a buzz phrase that is "The fortune is in the follow-up." So, plain and simple, if you act like you're interested, I'm going to talk to you about it again, but if you just say no, the conversation is over--not our friendship, just the conversation. I won't hassle you about it any further, I won't try to convince you that the opportunity is everything you've been looking for or the products with revolutionize your life (though I believe that they will). I'm not in the business of pressuring people, I don't want to waste your time or mine if you aren't interested, because while I'm sending you the 10th email about Shakeology, I'm missing my friend's post requesting weight loss tips--another opportunity. Yet even while I know this, and I feel this way, I still find myself pretending to be interested in an embroidered diaper bag when I usually just throw a diaper and wipes in my over-sized purse! I flip through a Pampered Chef catalog, even commenting on how cool some of the products are, knowing full well that if I try to cram even one more pineapple corer or cherry pitter into my over stuffed shoe box sized kitchen it will probably burst at the seams. I stress over rearranging my schedule and finding a sitter so that I can attend another meeting or party with people I don't even like that much.
So, I say to you and myself, have confidence in your voice, put on your big girl panties and "Just Say NO" I promise you that no real friend will end your friendship because you didn't buy a cherry cobbler scented candle.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Understanding your "why"
There is this buzz phrase among Beachbody coaches that's all about "Understanding your 'why'" and the concept is that you have to regularly revisit why you got into the business, and what your goals are so that you don't lose momentum. When I first chose to become a Beachbody coach, I went along with the trend and considered my reasoning, but since then I've felt a compulsion to assess this in the other areas of my life.
I've been thinking about the "why" a lot since last night. While watching the Biggest Loser, we got into a discussion about why so many of the contestants ultimately fail and gain the weight back after the finale and they go back to their 'normal' lives. The problem is that often times the contestants aren't committed to the journey for the sake of their health, but rather the cash prize at the end. I understand that competition is a great motivator, but I think in many of the contestants cases, that becomes the goal, not reclaiming their lives. Their "why" is out of whack! I said in that moment, that I was glad that I never had a quick fix, an easy solution or a big cash prize that I was working for on my journey. I have literally had to fight for every pound that I've lost. I've calculated every calorie, measured every ingredient, and sweated out every calorie with hours of cardio. This is not about me saying that I'm better than them, it's that I know that going back is never an option for me, it's been too hard to get where I am, but the only reason that I've been able to get where I am is because I have a clear "why".
When I started trying to lose weight, I was miserable. I hated myself and rarely left the house because I was so embarrassed of my size, and most of the time I didn't even get out of my pajamas. When I finally decided that it was time to lose the weight, it wasn't just about looking better, and while that was obviously part of the motivation, it had a lot more to do with other bigger factors. I've been overweight my whole life. Even as a very young child, I was overweight, and by the time I was a teenager I was clearly obese, and growing up as a "fat kid" is one of the most emotionally crippling experiences. Plain and simple, kids are mean. I remember daily coming home from school in tears because I was called "fat" or yet another joke was made about it not being over until the fat lady sings, and being taunted to sing, or the group of boys grimacing in disgust as they taunted one of their own telling me that he liked me. Never being able to shop at the same stores as my peers, wearing "old lady clothes" instead of the trendy teenage clothing because nothing came in my size. There was no "Juniors Plus" department when I was a kid. Long story short, it was painful. I hated every minute of my chubby childhood, and I didn't ever want my children to experience that same sort of pain, but how could I expect them to eat healthily avoid the junk food and be active when I wasn't setting that example?!
Another big factor comes back to one of 3 books that top my list as changing my mentality fundamentally. Almost 4 years ago now, I read the book "For Women Only" which I had received as a wedding gift. From page 1 I was engrossed in this book, but the final chapter is what rocked my world. This last chapter discusses how not taking care of yourself can show your spouse that you don't care about them, and of course I'm not doing it justice by clearly not explaining the concept as well as it is in the book, but the point is that just like in our relationship with God, we honor our spouse, when we take good care of ourselves. On the more physical level, men are visual creatures, this is why the porn videos are a multi-billion dollar industry with the vast majority of the patrons being men. A man will be more attracted to his wife when she is taking care of herself because not only does it show him that she cares for him, but tends to amplify her confidence, and flat out, confidence is sexy. For me, this struck right to the heart. I have an overwhelming love and respect for my husband. I whole-heartedly believe that he is the most amazing man currently living on the planet. Had Christ never lived as a man, that last sentence would have read "the most amazing man that ever lived." The point is that I know even at my lowest he loved me and I didn't ever want him to be embarrassed of me. I wanted him to always find me attractive, and to be happy to introduce me to co-workers or friends, and I didn't ever want him to be the butt of jokes because of his "fat wife." My "why" was clear. It was for my husband and my girls, and that has never changed. Sure there has been extra push to lose weight for particular events, but that's never been the destination, just another stop on the journey.
Anyway, I tell this story because I think this is an important concept. Why do you invest your time in the things that you do? Why lead a particular group? Why try to lose weight, or make extra money? When you have a goal with a firm "why" you want to achieve it, you will be more successful in achieving it and a reason not to give up when the journey gets tough.
I've been thinking about the "why" a lot since last night. While watching the Biggest Loser, we got into a discussion about why so many of the contestants ultimately fail and gain the weight back after the finale and they go back to their 'normal' lives. The problem is that often times the contestants aren't committed to the journey for the sake of their health, but rather the cash prize at the end. I understand that competition is a great motivator, but I think in many of the contestants cases, that becomes the goal, not reclaiming their lives. Their "why" is out of whack! I said in that moment, that I was glad that I never had a quick fix, an easy solution or a big cash prize that I was working for on my journey. I have literally had to fight for every pound that I've lost. I've calculated every calorie, measured every ingredient, and sweated out every calorie with hours of cardio. This is not about me saying that I'm better than them, it's that I know that going back is never an option for me, it's been too hard to get where I am, but the only reason that I've been able to get where I am is because I have a clear "why".
When I started trying to lose weight, I was miserable. I hated myself and rarely left the house because I was so embarrassed of my size, and most of the time I didn't even get out of my pajamas. When I finally decided that it was time to lose the weight, it wasn't just about looking better, and while that was obviously part of the motivation, it had a lot more to do with other bigger factors. I've been overweight my whole life. Even as a very young child, I was overweight, and by the time I was a teenager I was clearly obese, and growing up as a "fat kid" is one of the most emotionally crippling experiences. Plain and simple, kids are mean. I remember daily coming home from school in tears because I was called "fat" or yet another joke was made about it not being over until the fat lady sings, and being taunted to sing, or the group of boys grimacing in disgust as they taunted one of their own telling me that he liked me. Never being able to shop at the same stores as my peers, wearing "old lady clothes" instead of the trendy teenage clothing because nothing came in my size. There was no "Juniors Plus" department when I was a kid. Long story short, it was painful. I hated every minute of my chubby childhood, and I didn't ever want my children to experience that same sort of pain, but how could I expect them to eat healthily avoid the junk food and be active when I wasn't setting that example?!
Another big factor comes back to one of 3 books that top my list as changing my mentality fundamentally. Almost 4 years ago now, I read the book "For Women Only" which I had received as a wedding gift. From page 1 I was engrossed in this book, but the final chapter is what rocked my world. This last chapter discusses how not taking care of yourself can show your spouse that you don't care about them, and of course I'm not doing it justice by clearly not explaining the concept as well as it is in the book, but the point is that just like in our relationship with God, we honor our spouse, when we take good care of ourselves. On the more physical level, men are visual creatures, this is why the porn videos are a multi-billion dollar industry with the vast majority of the patrons being men. A man will be more attracted to his wife when she is taking care of herself because not only does it show him that she cares for him, but tends to amplify her confidence, and flat out, confidence is sexy. For me, this struck right to the heart. I have an overwhelming love and respect for my husband. I whole-heartedly believe that he is the most amazing man currently living on the planet. Had Christ never lived as a man, that last sentence would have read "the most amazing man that ever lived." The point is that I know even at my lowest he loved me and I didn't ever want him to be embarrassed of me. I wanted him to always find me attractive, and to be happy to introduce me to co-workers or friends, and I didn't ever want him to be the butt of jokes because of his "fat wife." My "why" was clear. It was for my husband and my girls, and that has never changed. Sure there has been extra push to lose weight for particular events, but that's never been the destination, just another stop on the journey.
Anyway, I tell this story because I think this is an important concept. Why do you invest your time in the things that you do? Why lead a particular group? Why try to lose weight, or make extra money? When you have a goal with a firm "why" you want to achieve it, you will be more successful in achieving it and a reason not to give up when the journey gets tough.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Today is a good day!
It is with a triumphant spirit that I type those words, and actually believe them. Today IS a good day. It's been a while since I've shared the intimate details of my life because I simply have been far too preoccupied to find 15 minutes to sit down and share a measly little blog entry with you, but today, I have things so exciting to share with you that I simply couldn't put it off any longer!!
Today I was able to sleep in uninterrupted until 8:30!!
Today is the last day in my first round of Turbo Fire.
Today is the first day for me using Shakeology.
Today I broke the next 10 pound barrier in my weight loss journey that I've been battling for weeks!!
No matter what is going on in your life, there is nothing that sets off a day better than waking up completely on your own to the responses of your own body with no alarm clock, be it mechanical or toddler, and a full 3 1/2 hours later than I normally rise. This is all thanks to my mom who kept the girls last night so I could go wedding dress shopping with my bestie, cause she's getting married and I'm so excited!!! So I got to enjoy a night out shopping and dining, without any need to rush home and then sleep as long as I desired...it was just good, BUT on to more important things...
I feel an overwhelming sense of accomplishment that I complete Turbo Fire. Sure, it's taken me more than the 12 weeks intended but that's because I've interrupted the schedule by doing the 5 Day Inferno 3 times and I've also, repeated 2 of the weeks twice because I didn't feel like I had given them appropriate attention and/or effort. The point is though, I did it! I actually stuck through with something clear to completion. I haven't hit all of my weight loss and fitness goals in these 12ish weeks, but I have changed my body dramatically! I've lost over 20 pounds and several inches off of my body (actual weight and measurements will come tomorrow) . I've literally gone from wearing a size 12 pants to now a size 6! Once again a Beachbody product has changed my life because I stuck to their motto "Decide. Commit. Succeed." (Period.) And I feel so good about it. I can't tell you how many times I've had lofty ideas about some fitness program or weight loss gimmick, some schedule that I said I would complete and get great results from only to be sitting on the couch eating ice cream straight from the carton by the end of week 1. It feels good. I feel like I've finally broken the trend. I'm done with the failure mentality and I honestly feel like I can do anything that I set my mind to. Perhaps that sounds cheesy, and I'm not asserting that Turbo Fire has given me a new lease on life but as another milestone in my journey, it has help solidify some of the habits and changes to my mindset that have been under construction for the last 17 months.
The next part is Shakeology! The thing is this, if you use any of the Beachbody products or hang around the website or any of the message boards for any period of time you kinda start to wonder what kind of crack they have put into this stuff to make everyone freak out over it so much, but then you feel that twinge of "I've gotta have it, too." And when you taste it for the first time, it all becomes abundantly clear!! Now, be prepared, I'm about to sound like one of the crazies, but hear me out. If you don't know what it is, Shakeology is a meal replacement shake, no not like Slim Fast. It is blend of over 70 whole-food, natural ingredients with a glycemic index of only 24 (anything below 50 is considered low!) and provides complete nutrition for your body, without any artificial sweeteners or chemicals to trick your body into feeling full. So, anyway, I ordered it. I've been anxious for it to arrive, and skeptical too. I've had this stuff built up so much by all of my counterparts that I was sure in no way could it live up to the expectations that I've had for it. So it got here yesterday, but I didn't get home until almost 11 last night, and despite wanting so desperately to blend up a shake right then and there, I waited until this morning. I was sure that I was going to be let down by the taste. I've drank a lot of protein shakes, and meal replacements, and no matter how good they claim to taste they all still have that awful after taste of something artificial and bad, but this...OH, this was DELICIOUS!
When I opened the enormous package, it smelled just like a dark cocoa powder, it was a good start. I chose to abandon all of the recipe idea cards for ways to mix it up and try out different flavors and I took it straight, blended with just a cup of water and some ice. The consistency was just like a rich creamy milk shake and the flavor wasn't that dissimilar. I called Alex and told him that it tasted just like something I'd had from Starbucks, almost like a frozen hot cocoa with a hint of cinnamon. It was so good! I said I even felt guilty drinking it because it was so rich that psychologically I was telling myself that I shouldn't be drinking it, but I SHOULD!! A little over 1/2 way through the shake and I really was already starting to feel full. It was tasty and it filled it's purpose, now I'm about 2 hours since I had the shake and I still feel perfectly satisfied! I'm anxious to see how it will help me feel overall. Since it is supposed to help with energy (without stimulants), weight loss, and overall health I want to see how I feel through the next 30 days, but this might have to serve as my official boarding pass for the bandwagon, because it's stinking TASTY!
And finally, probably the best news that I've ever gotten in the first 5 minutes of being awake came when I stepped on the scale this morning. I know there are several mixed feelings and a whole lot of opposition to weighing daily, or in many cases at all, but for me, it's something I have to do. You see if I don't have that "check" on me every day, if I don't feel like I'm going to have to account for my actions the previous day, I have more of a tendency to be a little more lax with my consumption or my workout schedule. I convince myself that a piece of pizza won't really hurt me, or I can have a few Oreo's, but if I know that I'm going to have to account for that pizza and cookies in the morning I'm more than likely going to pass it up, and so it keeps me accountable. I set a lot of short term goals for myself in my weight loss journey. When I have something I know I can hit relatively quickly, it makes it easier to keep momentum. Mostly this has been the 10 pound barriers. When it started I gave myself 2 weeks usually to lose each 10 pounds (at least for the first 30). Then I stretched it out to 3 weeks. A lot of the goals I haven't met, but it helps me keep momentum and have something to celebrate, so for example every time I would break the next 10 pound barrier, I celebrate. When I went from the 210's to 209, I celebrated, when I went from the 20x's to 199, I celebrated BIG TIME and now I've hit another big one. This is a big one because all my life while I've been overweight, I thought that this number was where I wanted to be. Several months ago, I knew that was no longer the case, but now I am lower than I ever thought I could be. I am less than 20 pounds away from my ULTIMATE goal weight. I am in single digit sizes! And I am plowing towards that goal with a ferocity of a wild beast. It's so close now! This is SUCH a huge celebration because I've been fighting this particular 10 pound barrier for quite some time. On December 4th, for the first time I was only 1 pound away, but through poor choices with my diet (diet being all of the food I eat, I am not "on a diet") my weight went on an upswing, and I was in that 5 pound buffer which is completely normal with sodium consumption, water retention, digestion, etc. but today, a full 14 days later, I broke it, and I'm partying like it's 1999!!
Today is INDEED a good day!
Today I was able to sleep in uninterrupted until 8:30!!
Today is the last day in my first round of Turbo Fire.
Today is the first day for me using Shakeology.
Today I broke the next 10 pound barrier in my weight loss journey that I've been battling for weeks!!
No matter what is going on in your life, there is nothing that sets off a day better than waking up completely on your own to the responses of your own body with no alarm clock, be it mechanical or toddler, and a full 3 1/2 hours later than I normally rise. This is all thanks to my mom who kept the girls last night so I could go wedding dress shopping with my bestie, cause she's getting married and I'm so excited!!! So I got to enjoy a night out shopping and dining, without any need to rush home and then sleep as long as I desired...it was just good, BUT on to more important things...
I feel an overwhelming sense of accomplishment that I complete Turbo Fire. Sure, it's taken me more than the 12 weeks intended but that's because I've interrupted the schedule by doing the 5 Day Inferno 3 times and I've also, repeated 2 of the weeks twice because I didn't feel like I had given them appropriate attention and/or effort. The point is though, I did it! I actually stuck through with something clear to completion. I haven't hit all of my weight loss and fitness goals in these 12ish weeks, but I have changed my body dramatically! I've lost over 20 pounds and several inches off of my body (actual weight and measurements will come tomorrow) . I've literally gone from wearing a size 12 pants to now a size 6! Once again a Beachbody product has changed my life because I stuck to their motto "Decide. Commit. Succeed." (Period.) And I feel so good about it. I can't tell you how many times I've had lofty ideas about some fitness program or weight loss gimmick, some schedule that I said I would complete and get great results from only to be sitting on the couch eating ice cream straight from the carton by the end of week 1. It feels good. I feel like I've finally broken the trend. I'm done with the failure mentality and I honestly feel like I can do anything that I set my mind to. Perhaps that sounds cheesy, and I'm not asserting that Turbo Fire has given me a new lease on life but as another milestone in my journey, it has help solidify some of the habits and changes to my mindset that have been under construction for the last 17 months.
The next part is Shakeology! The thing is this, if you use any of the Beachbody products or hang around the website or any of the message boards for any period of time you kinda start to wonder what kind of crack they have put into this stuff to make everyone freak out over it so much, but then you feel that twinge of "I've gotta have it, too." And when you taste it for the first time, it all becomes abundantly clear!! Now, be prepared, I'm about to sound like one of the crazies, but hear me out. If you don't know what it is, Shakeology is a meal replacement shake, no not like Slim Fast. It is blend of over 70 whole-food, natural ingredients with a glycemic index of only 24 (anything below 50 is considered low!) and provides complete nutrition for your body, without any artificial sweeteners or chemicals to trick your body into feeling full. So, anyway, I ordered it. I've been anxious for it to arrive, and skeptical too. I've had this stuff built up so much by all of my counterparts that I was sure in no way could it live up to the expectations that I've had for it. So it got here yesterday, but I didn't get home until almost 11 last night, and despite wanting so desperately to blend up a shake right then and there, I waited until this morning. I was sure that I was going to be let down by the taste. I've drank a lot of protein shakes, and meal replacements, and no matter how good they claim to taste they all still have that awful after taste of something artificial and bad, but this...OH, this was DELICIOUS!
When I opened the enormous package, it smelled just like a dark cocoa powder, it was a good start. I chose to abandon all of the recipe idea cards for ways to mix it up and try out different flavors and I took it straight, blended with just a cup of water and some ice. The consistency was just like a rich creamy milk shake and the flavor wasn't that dissimilar. I called Alex and told him that it tasted just like something I'd had from Starbucks, almost like a frozen hot cocoa with a hint of cinnamon. It was so good! I said I even felt guilty drinking it because it was so rich that psychologically I was telling myself that I shouldn't be drinking it, but I SHOULD!! A little over 1/2 way through the shake and I really was already starting to feel full. It was tasty and it filled it's purpose, now I'm about 2 hours since I had the shake and I still feel perfectly satisfied! I'm anxious to see how it will help me feel overall. Since it is supposed to help with energy (without stimulants), weight loss, and overall health I want to see how I feel through the next 30 days, but this might have to serve as my official boarding pass for the bandwagon, because it's stinking TASTY!
And finally, probably the best news that I've ever gotten in the first 5 minutes of being awake came when I stepped on the scale this morning. I know there are several mixed feelings and a whole lot of opposition to weighing daily, or in many cases at all, but for me, it's something I have to do. You see if I don't have that "check" on me every day, if I don't feel like I'm going to have to account for my actions the previous day, I have more of a tendency to be a little more lax with my consumption or my workout schedule. I convince myself that a piece of pizza won't really hurt me, or I can have a few Oreo's, but if I know that I'm going to have to account for that pizza and cookies in the morning I'm more than likely going to pass it up, and so it keeps me accountable. I set a lot of short term goals for myself in my weight loss journey. When I have something I know I can hit relatively quickly, it makes it easier to keep momentum. Mostly this has been the 10 pound barriers. When it started I gave myself 2 weeks usually to lose each 10 pounds (at least for the first 30). Then I stretched it out to 3 weeks. A lot of the goals I haven't met, but it helps me keep momentum and have something to celebrate, so for example every time I would break the next 10 pound barrier, I celebrate. When I went from the 210's to 209, I celebrated, when I went from the 20x's to 199, I celebrated BIG TIME and now I've hit another big one. This is a big one because all my life while I've been overweight, I thought that this number was where I wanted to be. Several months ago, I knew that was no longer the case, but now I am lower than I ever thought I could be. I am less than 20 pounds away from my ULTIMATE goal weight. I am in single digit sizes! And I am plowing towards that goal with a ferocity of a wild beast. It's so close now! This is SUCH a huge celebration because I've been fighting this particular 10 pound barrier for quite some time. On December 4th, for the first time I was only 1 pound away, but through poor choices with my diet (diet being all of the food I eat, I am not "on a diet") my weight went on an upswing, and I was in that 5 pound buffer which is completely normal with sodium consumption, water retention, digestion, etc. but today, a full 14 days later, I broke it, and I'm partying like it's 1999!!
Today is INDEED a good day!
Monday, November 29, 2010
McFatFatFatFatFatty Monday
So, it's Monday again, and since I've decided to do these McFatty posts she looks at me like the popular girl in high school, just daring me to even think about coming close to her, and so as I draw nearer to Monday, just like the 5'7 size 2 blond with DD's in the lunch room, my self-esteem plummets. So, here comes the honesty...I've let you down.
I know my last post was all puppies and rainbows and motivational speaking about keeping the calories low and the weight loss high over the Thanksgiving weekend, but I've let you down. Here is the long and short of it. I'm a closet eater. I always have been, which is why no one could ever understand why I was so overweight when it didn't look like I ate that much. It's because I've always been embarrassed to eat in front of other people, no matter how much or how little I was eating. It's a shame thing. Just like any addiction, it isn't something you flaunt. So, I'd never sit down in a room full of people and eat a whole large pepperoni pizza for myself, that's not to say that I didn't do it, I just didn't let anyone see me do it. Now, that's not where I fell apart this weekend, but I did fall apart. Thanksgiving was the easy part. Everyone was watching. I did just as I planned. I made my healthy side dishes and ate only a small amount of turkey breast with the healthy sides, and some raw veggies. I had a few single bites of sides that Alex had served himself, but that I wasn't willing to risk the calories of overindulging by putting them on my plate. Then we went to my mom's house. Keep in mind that this was the 2nd stop for all of my siblings, and we're talking about only a total of 10 guests (including my 2 children), and this is what we walked into.
This was the buffet of side dishes
Miscellaneous Munchies, and pies
and 1/4 of the meat from the 20+ pound turkey that was made
I know my last post was all puppies and rainbows and motivational speaking about keeping the calories low and the weight loss high over the Thanksgiving weekend, but I've let you down. Here is the long and short of it. I'm a closet eater. I always have been, which is why no one could ever understand why I was so overweight when it didn't look like I ate that much. It's because I've always been embarrassed to eat in front of other people, no matter how much or how little I was eating. It's a shame thing. Just like any addiction, it isn't something you flaunt. So, I'd never sit down in a room full of people and eat a whole large pepperoni pizza for myself, that's not to say that I didn't do it, I just didn't let anyone see me do it. Now, that's not where I fell apart this weekend, but I did fall apart. Thanksgiving was the easy part. Everyone was watching. I did just as I planned. I made my healthy side dishes and ate only a small amount of turkey breast with the healthy sides, and some raw veggies. I had a few single bites of sides that Alex had served himself, but that I wasn't willing to risk the calories of overindulging by putting them on my plate. Then we went to my mom's house. Keep in mind that this was the 2nd stop for all of my siblings, and we're talking about only a total of 10 guests (including my 2 children), and this is what we walked into.
This was the buffet of side dishes
Miscellaneous Munchies, and pies
and 1/4 of the meat from the 20+ pound turkey that was madeI can't blame her for the excess. Her whole life has been spend in the food industry. She loves to entertain, and it's what she does--she's also Italian. So, I tried to do well. I had a few more bites here and there, but still feel like I held it together pretty well. I think it all fell apart somewhere around 2 o'clock Friday morning. Amidst our black Friday shopping we made a gas station run for some much needed caffeine, and I broke one of my cardinal rules. I could have easily opted for a black coffee, I drink black coffee all the time, and rather enjoy it, but instead, I decided to go with a cappuccino, and started off my day by drinking my calories. A full 24oz cup of calories and I repeated this offense 3 more times that day. The day was such a whirl, I didn't eat much after our very early breakfast at Ihop, where I chose the healthiest option on the menu, until that night and then it all fell apart. I binged on every unhealthy snack food that I had in my house, and there was a fair amount, with left overs and sweet treats that my mom bought for Alex and the girls, and then I went straight to bed, and this set the trend for the rest of the weekend. Out of fatigue from being up all night on Thursday and shopping all day on Friday, I was essentially useless on Saturday= more binging, and no workout. Sunday was the same story. I'm terrified to step on a scale, and so I haven't, but I can see and feel the gain in my mid-section.
I will weigh tomorrow. I will face the scale and face my failures. I will admit that I've fallen apart and will stop eating when no one is watching, but I will also complete the 5 Day Inferno this week. I am on track to burn off as many calories as humanly possible and only fuel my body with clean food. I will be back down to my successful loss of last week by Saturday when I see all of the extended family for our first of several Christmas celebrations...and I will hold it together there too.
I will weigh tomorrow. I will face the scale and face my failures. I will admit that I've fallen apart and will stop eating when no one is watching, but I will also complete the 5 Day Inferno this week. I am on track to burn off as many calories as humanly possible and only fuel my body with clean food. I will be back down to my successful loss of last week by Saturday when I see all of the extended family for our first of several Christmas celebrations...and I will hold it together there too.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Lighten Up!
It is with anxious anticipation and nervous apprehension that I approach Thanksgiving. A holiday so fundamental in its original intent to give thanks for the bountiful blessings in our lives, and yet it has become nothing more than an extravagant celebration of gluttony, in most cases. Being a self admitted food addict, I am terrified about the caloric content of the day, knowing that if I waltz into the aroma filled home of Alex's grandmother without a plan in mind that I'll easily consume 3 days worth of calories in a single meal, and so I've chosen to lighten up.
It's been said many times that I'm a little crazy when it comes to my calorie counting. I'm a little obsessive over what foods I eat, and writing down every calorie consumed. I'm a little crazy when I research the calorie content of a dish at a restaurant before I'll order or when I bring my own food to a dinner get together, and while not wanting to offend anyone on Thanksgiving I've come up with a plan. It is customary every year for each of the adults to bring some type of side dish to the celebration, helping alleviate some of the work load and the expense, and so I've chosen to bring side dishes that are hearty enough to sustain an appetite, but not ruin the meal plan and thought as a whole, I could lighten up the calorie content of the day. Here are my thoughts:
Instead of the rich cream and butter filled mashed potatoes, consider roasted seasonal root vegetables dressed with herbs and a drizzle of olive oil.
Instead of green bean casserole try fresh steamed green beans with roasted garlic and onions.
Celebrate the pumpkin in a means other than pie. Make mini pumpkin muffins using canned pumpkin and a box of spice cake mix. Still a sweet treat with pumpkin but with only right around 45 calories each!
Make baked sweet potatoes, sweetened with honey instead of brown sugar and marshmallows, but feel free to still top with some dry roasted pecan pieces.
Choose to roast just a turkey breast instead of the whole turkey, this will save you both on time and money!
When it comes to hors d'oeuvres choose a veggie or fruit tray and avoid some the more calorie dense meat and cheese trays. Graze on raw veggies before the meal so that you aren't starving and risk over eating.
Consider when the big meal of the day will be served, but do not hold out on eating until that meal. While you will surely want to enjoy all of the delicious autumnal fare, you don't want to wind up resembling the turkey--overstuffed.
Make sure you eat breakfast and even a morning snack to keep your metabolism high and your appetite low, being too hungry when it's meal time will cause you to over eat.
Eat slowly! Hunger cues come from your brain, not your stomach, if you wait for your stomach to feel full, you will have eaten too much.
Don't hang around the kitchen! Hanging around the food will cause you to snack out of habit, or boredom. Removing yourself from where the snacks are will keep you from unconsciously adding to your calories.
Look out for the high calorie drinks like egg nog, soda and alcohol! If you're going to increase your calorie budget today, make sure you use it on things you actually want, like the food. Drinking a single glass of egg nog can cost you as much as 360 calories!! That's the same as 1/2 POUND of turkey breast!
And last but not least here is my pick for this year: Spaghetti Squash with Ricotta, Sage, and Pine Nuts! When I first found this recipe on another blog for easy, healthy and inexpensive recipes, I thought it was too good to be true, even took the time to calculate the calorie content myself because with the creamy deliciousness of the ricotta I thought there was no way we were coming in at under 200 calories, but it's true! I did a dry run with it before testing it out on the masses on Thanksgiving, and in the words of Rachel Ray, "YUMM-O!" It was seriously delicious. Of course, I'm not one to follow a recipe as it stands and I gotta always put my Michelle twist on it so, I cut back to only 1/2 cup of ricotta, and addled about 1/2 tablespoon of Parmesan cheese to each serving, because I felt like it needed a little something, and it was 162 calories per serving! Hello, you're not gonna find any other pasta dish that hearty and that low on calories! Plus, it is a great dish for the fall--very hearty and seasonal with the use of the squash and pine nuts.
Hopefully, I've given you some tips on how to lighten up this Thanksgiving so that we can be truly thankful and not mourning the pants that you can't button as you head out for the Black Friday sales.
It's been said many times that I'm a little crazy when it comes to my calorie counting. I'm a little obsessive over what foods I eat, and writing down every calorie consumed. I'm a little crazy when I research the calorie content of a dish at a restaurant before I'll order or when I bring my own food to a dinner get together, and while not wanting to offend anyone on Thanksgiving I've come up with a plan. It is customary every year for each of the adults to bring some type of side dish to the celebration, helping alleviate some of the work load and the expense, and so I've chosen to bring side dishes that are hearty enough to sustain an appetite, but not ruin the meal plan and thought as a whole, I could lighten up the calorie content of the day. Here are my thoughts:
Instead of the rich cream and butter filled mashed potatoes, consider roasted seasonal root vegetables dressed with herbs and a drizzle of olive oil.
Instead of green bean casserole try fresh steamed green beans with roasted garlic and onions.
Celebrate the pumpkin in a means other than pie. Make mini pumpkin muffins using canned pumpkin and a box of spice cake mix. Still a sweet treat with pumpkin but with only right around 45 calories each!
Make baked sweet potatoes, sweetened with honey instead of brown sugar and marshmallows, but feel free to still top with some dry roasted pecan pieces.
Choose to roast just a turkey breast instead of the whole turkey, this will save you both on time and money!
When it comes to hors d'oeuvres choose a veggie or fruit tray and avoid some the more calorie dense meat and cheese trays. Graze on raw veggies before the meal so that you aren't starving and risk over eating.
Consider when the big meal of the day will be served, but do not hold out on eating until that meal. While you will surely want to enjoy all of the delicious autumnal fare, you don't want to wind up resembling the turkey--overstuffed.
Make sure you eat breakfast and even a morning snack to keep your metabolism high and your appetite low, being too hungry when it's meal time will cause you to over eat.
Eat slowly! Hunger cues come from your brain, not your stomach, if you wait for your stomach to feel full, you will have eaten too much.
Don't hang around the kitchen! Hanging around the food will cause you to snack out of habit, or boredom. Removing yourself from where the snacks are will keep you from unconsciously adding to your calories.
Look out for the high calorie drinks like egg nog, soda and alcohol! If you're going to increase your calorie budget today, make sure you use it on things you actually want, like the food. Drinking a single glass of egg nog can cost you as much as 360 calories!! That's the same as 1/2 POUND of turkey breast!
And last but not least here is my pick for this year: Spaghetti Squash with Ricotta, Sage, and Pine Nuts! When I first found this recipe on another blog for easy, healthy and inexpensive recipes, I thought it was too good to be true, even took the time to calculate the calorie content myself because with the creamy deliciousness of the ricotta I thought there was no way we were coming in at under 200 calories, but it's true! I did a dry run with it before testing it out on the masses on Thanksgiving, and in the words of Rachel Ray, "YUMM-O!" It was seriously delicious. Of course, I'm not one to follow a recipe as it stands and I gotta always put my Michelle twist on it so, I cut back to only 1/2 cup of ricotta, and addled about 1/2 tablespoon of Parmesan cheese to each serving, because I felt like it needed a little something, and it was 162 calories per serving! Hello, you're not gonna find any other pasta dish that hearty and that low on calories! Plus, it is a great dish for the fall--very hearty and seasonal with the use of the squash and pine nuts.
Hopefully, I've given you some tips on how to lighten up this Thanksgiving so that we can be truly thankful and not mourning the pants that you can't button as you head out for the Black Friday sales.
Monday, November 22, 2010
McFatty Monday
So, I'm not getting caught up on numbers but after several compliments of looking "smokin' hot" yesterday, and buying a dress in a SIZE 6 on Saturday, I'm feeling pretty good about myself. Now, I know I'm not a size 6 all the way around and probably won't be for some time yet, but golly it felt good to see that number and for the dress to fit! So, despite the bloat this morning from an unknown OBSCENE amount of sodium in my lunch at O'Charley's yesterday (I mean seriously 2690 mg in tilapia and rice!?) there was a water weight gain this morning, otherwise putting me at -3.4lbs for the week!!
THANK YOU TURBO FIRE!! I'm seeing the numbers move much more slowly than I had ever hoped for but my body is changing so dramatically that I'm not nearly as hung up as I have been. Honestly, I'm still hung up, but marginally less so. At any rate, I've had to adjust my goals a little bit. Since the scale is moving at a snails pace, losing the last 20 by Christmas is a little unreasonable, so I'm going to push it to Valentines day. That gives me 12 weeks to lose 20 lbs, that's less than 2 lbs per week and totally doable! SO, here is my challenge to you...
Set your personal goal to not gain even 1 pound over the holidays. If you're feeling extra motivated, resolve to LOSE weight while every one else is adding an extra pie to each thigh! Don't wait until New Years to make your resolutions!!
THANK YOU TURBO FIRE!! I'm seeing the numbers move much more slowly than I had ever hoped for but my body is changing so dramatically that I'm not nearly as hung up as I have been. Honestly, I'm still hung up, but marginally less so. At any rate, I've had to adjust my goals a little bit. Since the scale is moving at a snails pace, losing the last 20 by Christmas is a little unreasonable, so I'm going to push it to Valentines day. That gives me 12 weeks to lose 20 lbs, that's less than 2 lbs per week and totally doable! SO, here is my challenge to you...
Set your personal goal to not gain even 1 pound over the holidays. If you're feeling extra motivated, resolve to LOSE weight while every one else is adding an extra pie to each thigh! Don't wait until New Years to make your resolutions!!
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
A great big steaming pot of love
I think it goes without question to say that the last few days have been somewhat challenging for me, and my previous entry caused quite a wave of encouragement and reassurance from several friends and family members, that despite the pressures and the feelings of inadequacy, I'm doing alright. Along with the encouragement though, came several echos of the feelings of pressure to perform these tasks and fill the roles of wife and mother with perfection, and I was thinking about where those pressures come from. Who is the one that tells us that we have to be better? That we have to have a 3 course meal on the table every night, a white glove approved home and a child with an IQ of 150? We do it to ourselves. I will admit that I am my own worst enemy.
As a woman, I think it is natural to compare. Not right, necessarily, but natural. I think that's largely the result of the images we are fed in the media, from an early age, we flip through the magazines and see these "perfect" supermodel bodies tucked between articles of "Bikini Body by Spring" and the psychological process of comparison begins. This is what I'm supposed to look like, and this is how I'm supposed to do it--and so we start to compare ourselves physically, and then we become competitive. We're supposed to be blond because it's summer time, so let me dye my hair, but hers looks better than mine so I have to ask her for the name of her stylist, we compare shoes, wardrobes, jewelry, even spouses and we want to have the best and be the best. I mean, how else could Manolo Blahnik get away with selling $300 pairs of shoes!?! Thus it carries into every area of our life, we are so attuned to the comparative nature that we do it down to the habits of scrubbing our toilets, and so Mrs. X always looks gorgeous and her house is pristine and her son can already read and so surely I'm not doing the best that I can when I run to the store decked in my sweaty workout attire, with dishes still in my sink and my children screaming all the way. BUT the truth is Mrs. X was the one just ducking out of Wal-Mart with her hair in a pony tail and little Johnny screaming because he didn't get the Oreo's he wanted. We see in others what we want to see, and subconsciously we want to compare.
One of the responses I received from yesterday's post was a phone call. As I began talking to the very tender hearted woman on the other end of the phone, I burst into tears as I poured out all of the stressors that I had been suppressing for the last several months and she asked me a very simple question, "Does Alex know how you've been feeling?" I paused and hesitated, because the one person on this planet whom I claim to talk to about everything, who I swear I keep no secrets from, who shares my very heart and soul was so removed from all of the things that had me so worked up, that he didn't even know anything was wrong. It wasn't his ignorance, it was my walls! I've been so caught up in the need to be perfect! I mean look back a few posts and you'll see the climax. I've been so dead set on shielding myself from everything that has been a concern--the health of my parents, the state of our finances, Alex's recovery--that I completely poured myself into obsessing over making everything fit into this ideal that I had created and in the process I was pushing away Alex, the priority who I claim to do it all for!
It wasn't but a short time after I ended this phone conversation that I received a call from Alex, and with my voice wavering I answered the phone and in response to his concern I fell apart into a blubbering mess. As much as is possible, he consoled and comforted me and offered me all of the reassurance that no one else could. He sees all of my bad days, he knows how ugly I can be sometimes and he still loves me and still thinks that I'm a good wife and mother, and it was then that it all started to change.
This morning I woke up and I went into the kitchen and poured myself a cup of coffee. I didn't make the coffee but it was there for me, just like it is every morning, and as I inhaled the fragrant aroma and savored the warm brew, I fell a little more in love with my husband. You see all the times I complain about the crumbs that he leaves behind, or the dirty socks on the floor, candy wrappers in the couch cushions and dirty dishes left on the table, and I think of those as the expectation, or the "slap in the face" and I feel like he doesn't see me as anything more than just the housekeeper became irrelevant because in that cup of coffee I was reminded of his love. Alex is up and out of the house before I even think about opening my eyes on most mornings, and because of the nature of his job he is often preoccupied with several tasks and to do lists before he leaves the house, yet every morning he makes a pot of coffee. One of the first things that Alex learned about me when we started dating was my love affair with coffee. Sure, he is a coffee drinker too, but he always makes sure to make a full pot, because he knows that I won't make coffee if I know that I'm the only one drinking it, and so he always leaves at least a cup for me. Not only does he always make sure that it's there for me, but he leaves the burner on so that it stays warm, so that every morning I wake up to a warm pot of coffee waiting for me. He knows that despite his busy schedule that every day he can give me the gift of indulgence in one of my simple pleasures, something that I won't give myself. So, in that instant this morning as I sipped the coffee from my mug I was reminded of my husband's love for me and I knew that he still thinks I'm doing ok. So despite the comparisons and obsessive need for perfection, despite the overwhelming feelings of inadequacy when it all falls apart, I know that every morning when wake up to coffee, my husband still loves me, and it's going to be ok.
As a woman, I think it is natural to compare. Not right, necessarily, but natural. I think that's largely the result of the images we are fed in the media, from an early age, we flip through the magazines and see these "perfect" supermodel bodies tucked between articles of "Bikini Body by Spring" and the psychological process of comparison begins. This is what I'm supposed to look like, and this is how I'm supposed to do it--and so we start to compare ourselves physically, and then we become competitive. We're supposed to be blond because it's summer time, so let me dye my hair, but hers looks better than mine so I have to ask her for the name of her stylist, we compare shoes, wardrobes, jewelry, even spouses and we want to have the best and be the best. I mean, how else could Manolo Blahnik get away with selling $300 pairs of shoes!?! Thus it carries into every area of our life, we are so attuned to the comparative nature that we do it down to the habits of scrubbing our toilets, and so Mrs. X always looks gorgeous and her house is pristine and her son can already read and so surely I'm not doing the best that I can when I run to the store decked in my sweaty workout attire, with dishes still in my sink and my children screaming all the way. BUT the truth is Mrs. X was the one just ducking out of Wal-Mart with her hair in a pony tail and little Johnny screaming because he didn't get the Oreo's he wanted. We see in others what we want to see, and subconsciously we want to compare.
One of the responses I received from yesterday's post was a phone call. As I began talking to the very tender hearted woman on the other end of the phone, I burst into tears as I poured out all of the stressors that I had been suppressing for the last several months and she asked me a very simple question, "Does Alex know how you've been feeling?" I paused and hesitated, because the one person on this planet whom I claim to talk to about everything, who I swear I keep no secrets from, who shares my very heart and soul was so removed from all of the things that had me so worked up, that he didn't even know anything was wrong. It wasn't his ignorance, it was my walls! I've been so caught up in the need to be perfect! I mean look back a few posts and you'll see the climax. I've been so dead set on shielding myself from everything that has been a concern--the health of my parents, the state of our finances, Alex's recovery--that I completely poured myself into obsessing over making everything fit into this ideal that I had created and in the process I was pushing away Alex, the priority who I claim to do it all for!
It wasn't but a short time after I ended this phone conversation that I received a call from Alex, and with my voice wavering I answered the phone and in response to his concern I fell apart into a blubbering mess. As much as is possible, he consoled and comforted me and offered me all of the reassurance that no one else could. He sees all of my bad days, he knows how ugly I can be sometimes and he still loves me and still thinks that I'm a good wife and mother, and it was then that it all started to change.
This morning I woke up and I went into the kitchen and poured myself a cup of coffee. I didn't make the coffee but it was there for me, just like it is every morning, and as I inhaled the fragrant aroma and savored the warm brew, I fell a little more in love with my husband. You see all the times I complain about the crumbs that he leaves behind, or the dirty socks on the floor, candy wrappers in the couch cushions and dirty dishes left on the table, and I think of those as the expectation, or the "slap in the face" and I feel like he doesn't see me as anything more than just the housekeeper became irrelevant because in that cup of coffee I was reminded of his love. Alex is up and out of the house before I even think about opening my eyes on most mornings, and because of the nature of his job he is often preoccupied with several tasks and to do lists before he leaves the house, yet every morning he makes a pot of coffee. One of the first things that Alex learned about me when we started dating was my love affair with coffee. Sure, he is a coffee drinker too, but he always makes sure to make a full pot, because he knows that I won't make coffee if I know that I'm the only one drinking it, and so he always leaves at least a cup for me. Not only does he always make sure that it's there for me, but he leaves the burner on so that it stays warm, so that every morning I wake up to a warm pot of coffee waiting for me. He knows that despite his busy schedule that every day he can give me the gift of indulgence in one of my simple pleasures, something that I won't give myself. So, in that instant this morning as I sipped the coffee from my mug I was reminded of my husband's love for me and I knew that he still thinks I'm doing ok. So despite the comparisons and obsessive need for perfection, despite the overwhelming feelings of inadequacy when it all falls apart, I know that every morning when wake up to coffee, my husband still loves me, and it's going to be ok.
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