Hello, My name is Michelle and I am a stay at home mom...

I am a stay at home mom. There is no debate as to that fact, though I think there is some debate as to what that actually means and what it truly entails. In recent weeks there have been certain expectations of me that don't exactly fit into the mold.

Initially the issue lies in the title itself--"Stay at home" I might be in the minority here, but of most of the moms who I know who don't work outside of the home, staying home is rarely on the agenda, or if the schedule does permit for residing inside the residence, there are a whole slew of tasks which must be accomplished, and therefore my issue lies in the title "stay at home." You see, when I hear that I think of the date night proposition, "What would you like to do tonight honey?" "Oh, lets just stay at home" As if the notion of staying home alludes to a form of relaxation and de-stress, where as the role of unpaid mother is anything but. So, for all of my readers who have a misconception about the SAHM let me clear up a few things for you.

I am a SAHM this means that I raise my own children. I am solely responsible for teaching them the principles of sharing, cooperation, courtesy, manners, basic skills, etc. I am responsible for providing well balanced nutritious meals for my children, and alternatively I am the only one to blame if the foods they eat are not of the nutritional value that is optimal. This means that I am also responsible for providing essential entertainment for my children, including but not limited to occasional playdates with Nick Jr., Disney Channel or PBS. Having made the decision not to incur the weekly $120 expense for pre-school, this means that I am also responsible for nurturing the young minds on all matters of counting, color identification, letter identification and all of the certain "required" pre-school musical renditions. My care for my children also includes keeping a meticulous schedule of play dates, doctors appointments, and extracurricular activities and all of their necessary accoutrements.

Unrelated to the care of my children, my responsibilities as a SAHM also include keeping a tidy home, running the necessary errands to keep the pantry and refrigerator stocked with only the most nutritious of nourishment which I am also responsible to prepare 3-6 times per day. I launder, mend, alter and sometimes manufacture the clothing. I prepare Bible studies, try to maintain some friendships, and peace within familial bonds as well as try follow-up with some of the 30+ adopted children of sorts that are in the youth group. Seeing as how I value physical health I also must allow ample time to achieve my necessary caloric burn for the day, and sometimes manage to get a shower and brush my hair.

However, as a stay at home mom, I do not sit around in my pajamas all day (with the exception of the instances when my day starts chaotically so early that I am unable to get dressed), nor watch television and spend hours perusing Facebook. I do not eat bon bons and certainly do not watch soap operas. I like to cook good food, but am certainly not a gourmet chef nor a short order cook. I read far less often than I would like and much of what I read is 26 pt font on a board book, or all of the "proper" ways to parent of which I'm usually miserably short on the check list. I can't remember the last time that I attempted a novel, and the IQ required reading that I am able to accomplish is usually, fully or in part related to my home based business. I may not work outside of the home, but I do work, likely more hours than any individual on the planet would be willing to work for any employer. I don't get paid. I manage a budget for which I am not factored into. I wake up early and go to bed late and my days are full of appointments.

Believe it or not, just because I do not have set hours, does not mean that my time is at your disposal. I am not available to run errands, make appointments, or do lunch with out advanced notice. I come with excess baggage, and if you would rather that baggage not be part of said appointment, even more notice is required. I do not check my email or Facebook messages all day long. If you need me, you must call me, and if you do call me and I do not answer, that means I am busy. What it does not mean is call again in 2 minutes. LEAVE A MESSAGE! I am completely unavailable between the hours of 1-3pm, which is nap time. This is the single waking opportunity during my day when I can *potentially* have just a few moments of silence, assuming that nap time occurs without a hitch. This is the time that is usually used to workout, shower, and/or manage my home business. Should an appointment or meeting have to be attended to during this time, I expect the caregiver during the time to put my children down for their regular naps. However, this regularly does not happen and I am therefore forced to deal with a completely irrational and emotionally unstable semblance of a tiny human. If there is no caregiver during that time and my children miss their naps, I accept full responsibility for the meltdowns--begrudgingly. If you show up at my home unannounced, do not expect it to be perfectly tidy, or my appearance to be desirable or even presentable in most cases.

Therefore, I bring my rant full circle to this. I am not a stay at home mom, but rather a mother who does not work outside of the home. Though my life may not have written appointments with high brow executives in overpriced suits I am not at everyone's disposal at a moments notice.