Week 35: You expect my body to do WHAT!?!?!

Being 35 weeks pregnant we are gladly approaching the due date very quickly. At this point our child birth classes are well underway each week focusing on a new and more devastating process of labor, but we'll come back to that.

The pregnancy has really begun to wear on me. It is finally to the point where if my shoes don't slip on, I'm not wearing them. Not to mention the fact that my feet look like overstuffed sausages and I'm thinking of posting a reward for anyone who can help me locate my ankles. The swelling has gotten terrible over the past few weeks. This has been especially difficult. With the weather finally warm enough that I may once again don my coveted flip flops only to find that they or any other strappy shoes cause my feet to resemble tied hams. My hands have also gotten much worse. Apparently I am experiencing a normal swelling complication that causes my hands to go numb periodically. This is because my hands have become so swollen that they pinch a nerve cutting off sufficient circulation and causing the tinglies. I have officially reduced my wardrobe to 3 pairs of pants and approximately 5 shirts--except for the occasional surge of creativity when I take my scissors to a t-shirt and present option number 6. The morning sickness is slowly returning and with it a lack of appetite. To prematurely summarize--I'm ready to get this kid out of me.

That sentiment however comes with a very painful realization (pun intended). You see, as I mentioned previously about our childbirth classes we are steadily faced with increasingly devastating images of labor and the labor process. Not to sound like a total idiot as I'm sure I may be coming across at this point but I'm not sure that I'm prepared for my body to accommodate the necessary expansion to allow for a child to pass from me. It is not as if I have never considered the fact that eventually she is going to come out of me and I was well aware of the exit location, however, I had never had to watch it happen before. Now that I'm sounding not only like an idiot, but a sheltered idiot, I feel that I must elaborate.

Throughout high school, I, just like any other student, attended several sex education and health courses, however, by some means I never saw "the video" before. Either because it wasn't shown or I happened to be absent on those particular days. At any rate, just viewing that caused actual physical pain so terrifying that I'm thinking it would be far less painful to just let her stay in there and keep on growing. Of course I am aware of the potential alternative of cesarean and yet that is even more terrifying for various reasons. First, I hate doctors. If I had any other option I am sure that I would live a blissful existence free from the touch of medical professionals and yet my hypochondrias is constantly directing me back into their care. Surgery scares me, recovery time is much longer, as is the risk of infection. I would much prefer to deliver naturally regardless of the overwhelming pain that I am sure to endure.

Naturally, I am aware of the options for pain relief, such as an epidural, and yet in all of my qualms about the pain and agony of labor there is a certain part of me that seriously would rather do it without any pain medication. It has been mentioned that when a woman does opt for an epidural she often must be prompted when to push because so much of the sensation has been removed. She still feels the pressure but not the pain indicative of the necessity to push. Additionally, the use of an epidural eliminates the ability to walk around to encourage labor and the ability to utilize various birthing positions. Probably the most inane concern of all is my feeling of accomplishment. In a way I feel like labor is the most physically intensive activity that any human will ever face. There is a certain rationale that if the labor is medicated I am "a wuss." Not that having a child medicated, or unmedicated is any small feat but I feel as if there will be a greater sense of accomplishment if I do it on my own. After all, women have been doing it for centuries...

Of course my opinion will undoubtedly change when faced with the blinding pain of labor.

Week 31: Getting Bigger

The last few weeks have met us with some unfortunate circumstances which have consumed all of my time and therefore have prevented me from posting. I know that sounds like an excuse but let me fill you in...

On February 15th, Alex fell off of a telephone pole at work and sprained 3 vertebrae and fractured his shin. This meant that he was on crutches and off work for the last few weeks. This also meant that he relied heavily upon me for nearly all of his basic necessities. While it was exhausting, it did give me a glimpse into what it will be like to have someone totally dependent upon me...it was scary... He is doing much better now. He is off of the crutches and slowly regaining strength in his leg. His back is still giving him trouble. He just had an MRI on Thursday to further investigate the extent of his injuries. We will find out the results of the MRI on Monday at his next doctor's appointment. He has also returned to work on light duty meaning office work which he hates.

In other news, my mom also had a brief hospital stay in the last few weeks. She had a lump in one of her breasts which had been growing ever larger for the past 3 months. I finally convinced her to get it checked out and they decided to admit her to the hospital and remove the lump. They haven't yet told her what it was but thankfully, don't think it was cancer. Her hospital stay also left me to manage the office where we work for a few days which was stressful to say the least. She was also diagnosed with diabetes which has her a bit stressed out and has forced her to change her diet.

During this stressful week, I began having some sharp pains in my lower abdomen. I figured I would put them off for as long as possible but after 3 days of them getting worse and then being accompanied by a fever and persistent vomiting, we called my doctor. It was recommended that I go to the hospital for further investigation. They determined that everything was fine with Michaela and the pains weren't Braxton Hicks or anything to be concerned about but likely her hitting a nerve when she was moving. The pains have since subsided. I also had a doctor's appointment on Monday where they determined that I might be gaining too much weight, so I've been scheduled for an ultrasound on Monday the 12th to check the weight of the baby. This has really been concerning me and so I've been doing everything I can to be as healthy as possible. We also start our child birth classes on Monday which is exciting and a bit scary as well because that means we are getting really close.

She is moving all the time which I love and can't wait to meet her, but I can't shake the feeling that I'm just not quite ready. Hopefully after the classes I will feel better prepared.