Beware of Health Food

A few months ago I began my process following a Paleo diet.  It has definitely been a process of trial and error and overcoming some of my preconceived notions about what was healthy vs. unhealthy.  Of course, being a self proclaimed "foodie" I was ecstatic when I stumble upon food blogs brimming with delicacies, all Paleo approved!  It wasn't long before I set off baking Paleo cookies, cakes, pancakes, etc.  "It's healthy..." I thought.

Then, a few weeks ago I came across an article that described me perfectly.  Was I getting "too good" at Paleo?!  The fact is that we've heard lots of the facts about "health" food really being worse for us than the original full fat version.  Things like low fat or no sugar products are often stuffed full of other undesirable ingredients to fill in the gaps left by the fat, sugar or calories that have been removed.  Often times this is more salt, or more sugar (in low fat products) or even chemicals to mimic the 'natural' item that has been removed. A simple label comparison can reveal this, so that's not my emphasis.

Just like the Paleo blogs that allow us to replace all of our guilty pleasures with 'healthier' versions without changing our mentality.  The fact is that even the overly processed nonsense from the grocery store shelves is not going to kill you if it maintains it's appropriate place in our diet.  A few potato chips at a graduation party is fine, half a bag of potato chips because it's a Tuesday afternoon and you're bored is not.  I say all of this because I've really been focused on changing my mentality about the recipes that I see.  Today I saw a recipe to make brownies that were "guilt free" made with a meal replacement shake.  As I read the ingredient list my jaw hit the floor as I was thinking HOW IN THE WORLD ARE THESE GUILT FREE?!?!

The recipe called for:

4 scoops of shake mix
1 1/4 c of agave
1 full 16oz jar of almond butter
2 eggs
1 cup of dark chocolate chips
vanilla
salt
baking powder

I was intrigued, so I started to factor up the nutrition and was completely blown away by the results.  Now, the recipe didn't specify how many servings it made, so I used a standard Duncan Hines comparison of 20 servings as a guide.  Here is what I found...

This is the nutritional information for the "guilt free" brownie.  Boasting  nearly 300 calories and as much as 22 grams of sugar!  One of the selling points was the high protein, but in my opinion, this seems a little disproportionate.  Considering the shake mix itself contains almost 1/3 the calories and double the protein!

This nutrition on the other hand, is for a standard Duncan Hines boxed brownie mix.  It contains almost 70 fewer calories, 4 less grams of fat, 3 less carbohydrates and a full 7 grams less sugar!  That's right, the "bad" brownies are actually lower on all of the key factors!  Now before you jump all over me, I'm certainly not advocating going out and eating box brownies.  I also can clearly make the distinction between the presence of grain in the box mix as opposed to the shake brownies.  My point here is that we have to be very cautious what we choose to believe.  Just because something contains "healthy" ingredients, it doesn't give us a free pass, or a guilt free opportunity to chow down.

I've intentionally left out the name of the shake mix, because the truth is that all of the companies do this.  I've seen recipes for everything from brownies to pancakes to ice cream and cinnamon rolls.  I write this as a cautionary tale.  Be critical of what you choose to believe and eat.  If you're really looking for protein, grab a chicken breast, some eggs, or a piece of fish,  not a brownie.  If you want a sweet treat, then eat the brownie, but don't try to deceive yourself into believing that it's good for you.   Be honest with yourself and keep treats where they belong, as an occasional TREAT, not an every day indulgence.

Shifting Focus

For the last several years I have been completely consumed with the focus of losing weight.  It seemed as though every moment of every day, my mind was focused either on the calories consumed or calories burned.  Each morning I would wake up and head straight to the bathroom for the morning pee and weigh in.  The state of my day would be determined by what number stared back at me.  I am ashamed to admit that truth.  I am ashamed to admit that I became terrified of food.  I am ashamed to admit that I allowed myself to believe at some point that I wouldn't have to worry about what I ate anymore.  Most of all, I'm ashamed to admit that I did stop worrying about what I ate.

About a year and a half ago, we knew we were going to be moving.  Alex and I had just returned from a weekend get away for our anniversary when for the first time, I fully indulged in everything that I hadn't allowed myself to eat for the two years prior.  I came home from that weekend feeling bloated and seeing a dramatic increase on the scale.  I wasn't happy.  I also was quite stressed.  Alex was traveling often for work and I was feeling overwhelmed by the thought of moving and handling all of the household responsibilities alone.  My focus was lost.

After several months, we moved.  We moved to a gorgeous house in the city.  We loved it and we loved all of the new local cuisine that was walking distance from the house.  My workouts started to trail off, my nutrition was suffering and though I wanted to care, and I wasn't happy about the way things were trending, I couldn't find the energy or motivation to get a handle on my life again.  Other things in life began to spiral out of control.  I found myself back in the kitchen to cope with stress, instead of the weight room.

I hadn't stepped on a scale for months.  I knew that things weren't looking pretty.  I could feel it in my clothes.  I could feel my endurance slipping away when I did occasionally attempt a workout.  I knew that things were beginning to get out of control.  I could feel the depression creeping back in.  I felt like such a fraud when people would compliment how far I'd come.  I felt angry and jealous as I saw Alex's weight continuously dropping while mine was on the rise.  I would resolve that I was going to get up early and only eat healthy stuff again, only to find myself sleeping until I had to get the girls up and grabbing a cookie first thing in the morning.

It was about 2 months ago, when I had a heart to heart with myself.  I had to remind myself that my happiness is within my control.  I had to remind myself how good it felt when I did good things for myself.  How much happier and more efficient and a better parent I was when I was taking care of myself.  I started again to "try" to eat better, only for it all to fall apart on the weekends when I would come home from work tired and we'd grab take out and a few beers and pass out on the couch.  I knew that I needed something dramatic to help me get focused on my diet again, and that's when I decided on the 21DSD.  The first few days when I wasn't working out and I was seeing the scale move, and I was ecstatic, but I didn't really feel like I was earning it, and it wasn't as rewarding as I remembered.  I lost 10 lbs very quickly, in less than a week.  I was over the moon.  I couldn't wait to see how much I'd drop by the end of the 3rd week.  Week 2 started, and the scale stalled.  I started to get angry.  I started to feel frustrated and that's when I added my workouts back in.  Sure, they were tough.  I got focused and picked back up the weight training that I'd stalled on for 2 weeks.  I was afraid that all of my strength gains had been lost.

I started in, planning to use the same weights that I'd used 2 weeks prior, but knowing that I'd probably have to lighten up.  To my utter shock and surprise, I lifted the weights with ease!  I needed to go HEAVIER!  I was confused, but pleased.  I completed my weight training that week with increased weights on every exercise.  The next week, it was the same story and even though the next 2 weeks only showed and additional 1lb loss on the scale, I didn't care.  I was triumphant on a whole other level.  For the first time I was able to celebrate GAINS rather than LOSES!  For the first time, I can look at myself and say, "Sure, I don't look exactly how I want to look.  I may not be the size that I'd prefer or have abs worthy of showing off (yet!), but I'm getting strong, and I'm fueling my body well and I'll get there."  Gone are the days of losing 10lbs a week, and as nice as that was, I'm ok with that.  I have found a love of weights that I never knew before, and I LOVE it!

Yes, I want to lose weight, at the very least, what I've gained in the last year and a half, and probably then some, but I've made my goals a little more fitness focused and less weight focused.  So, here they are.  Hold me accountable if you'd like.  Challenge me, competition keeps me focused ;) and be ready to celebrate BIG TIME when I meet, and EXCEED those goals!

Goals:

I am giving myself 45 days to try and lose 10lbs.
I currently cannot do any pull-ups.  I will be able to do 5 unassisted pull-ups by the end of the calendar year.
I will complete the Lean Phase of ChaLEAN Extreme (I've completed the other two phases already).
I will begin P90X immediately after I finish ChaLEAN Extreme.  I will not skip any workouts.
I will run the half marathon in 2014.

"...and that's the story of how she slayed the evil sugar monster"

Four weeks ago, I sat at my dining room table, meticulously writing out a 2 week meal plan and shopping list.  I was nervous and fearful, but determined.  It was the first day of my 21-Day Sugar Detox (21DSD).  As I sat there, assessing which level of the plan I thought I should start at, I said to myself, "I like sweets but I'm not addicted to sugar.  This shouldn't be that hard."

Day 1, I was excited.  I had a clear plan of everything I was going to eat that day, but I was irritable.  I was less than 24 hours in and I needed some sugar!  "What is this? I eat healthy!" I thought.  Or at least I used to.  It became glaringly apparent that my diet had been suffering miserably and my cupcake hobby had translated into a full fledged sugar addiction.  The next 4 days were HELL.  I know that sounds extreme, but I fully imagine this being just like withdrawals from a chemical substance.  I was grumpy, angry and ready to kill someone for just a little taste of something sweet.  I was exhausted.  By 7:30 each evening I was completely worn out.  By 8:30 I was typically passed out on the couch.  I couldn't imagine entertaining the idea of a workout.  Every ounce of energy was used simply to pull myself out of bed and actually put some pants on.  I did drop 8 lbs in those first 4 days and I was flabbergasted. 

On day 5, it was like I was a whole new person.  All of a sudden, I could get out of bed without feeling like I need a fork lift, I actually attempted a workout of moderate intensity, and I was feeling positive, refreshed and excited.  This would be the pervasive mentality for the rest of the 21 days. 

I write this, not to brag about my success, but to hopefully answer many of the questions that I've received about the process.   So, here it is:

I did not eat ANY sugar for 21 days.  This includes fruit and even Shakeology (which was probably the hardest part).  While the program does allow for 1 green banana or 1 green apple per day, I very rarely indulged.  This was intentional.  I know that I struggle tremendously with self restraint, especially when it comes to food.  I am one of those people that can't just eat one cookie, but wind up eating half of the batch.  My fear was that if I had a taste of anything sweet, even an under ripe banana, that it would completely throw me off course.  So, what did you eat?!

I ate meat and veggies.  I ate A LOT of eggs and healthy fats.  I ate delicious meals like Greek Style Meatballs, Zucchini "Fettuccine" with meat sauce, smoked salmon and curried cauliflower "rice."  I ate a ton, but I never felt weighed down or bloated--this was the best part!  At the end of week 1 I had lost 10 lbs and was mostly over my sugar cravings.  This is not to say that I didn't crave fruit or occasionally sit across the table from my husband eating a cookie and contemplate how I could drive my fork through his temple to snag a bite...but then again, that might not have been solely about the cookie...

Throughout the process, I realized that there is sugar in EVERYTHING!  I kind of love salsa, and it's practically impossible to find a jar that is lacking sugar.  Even my super high quality favorite organic salsa has the sweet stuff in it (granted it's organic cane sugar, but sugar nonetheless) Since I had recently stocked up on it, I surrendered to no salsa for 21 days.  I created tests for myself throughout the process.  I wasn't going to force my family to detox with me, but it did happen to some extent.  They still enjoyed fruit, and occasional sweet snacks.  I didn't limit their condiments that all contain sugar.  I still baked Easy Bake treats with my little bakers.  I attended a work event with a buffet full of carbs and sugar seasoned meats and huge cakes.  I stood by while all of my friends enjoyed adult beverages, and fought the overwhelming urge to indulge myself.  I attended events at church where there were huge platters of soft and chewy chocolate chip cookies.  I went to an event at my daughter's school where there were towers of pizza and tables full of cookies, cupcakes and other baked goods.  And to my own surprise and triumph, I never once indulged!  Even when my husband lost his job, my daughters were soul snatched and replaced with demon children, my family was suffering tremendous medical issues and all I wanted was a single glass of wine at the end of the day to take the edge off--I didn't. 

Then, something beautiful happened.  I sat one evening at my dinner table, while my family were enjoying mint flavored Klondike bars and I felt completely content NOT to have one.  I sat next to my husband in the car as he and the little one shared a candy bar, and not only did I not want it, I was repulsed by the smell!  As I got closer to the end, it actually started to get more difficult.  Particularly days 19-21.  I started to rationalize to myself.  "You've practically made it, what is one little bite of fruit?"  I had to fight the urge over and over again. 

This morning I was finished with the detox.  I could eat whatever  I wanted.  I had a beautiful fresh pineapple sitting on my counter, beckoning me.  Without missing a beat, I started cutting it up.  As soon as the first morsel was loosed, I popped in in my mouth and instead of the euphoria that I expected, I felt guilt, and a little anxiety.  As bizarre as this sounds, that felt like a win to me.  I felt like I've worked so hard to cleanse my body that I certainly don't want to muck it up again.  Not that fruit is the same as refined sugar, but I definitely want to tread lightly.  I've realized that I don't need it or even want it as much as I thought I did.

So, where do I go from here?  I will gradually re-add some fruit and Shakeology back into my diet.  I won't be resuming my regular baking and I'll continue to keep grains and dairy out of my diet (this is not exclusively because of the 21DSD, but a personal decision I was trying  to make for a few months).  I will move forward, no longer a slave to my sweets craving, but with a balanced and clearer perspective of my diet. 

In summary, I absolutely would recommend this program to anyone!  There are plenty of modifications to match any lifestyle (pregnant, athlete, etc.) and a tremendous knowledge of the effect of sugar on the body.  I would also gladly answer any questions about my process.  For the record, I have no association with the company, get no kickback and ultimately have no incentive for encouraging you to attempt it other that helping my friends take one more step towards being healthy.