Week 1: She's PERFECT!!!!

So, Wednesday was supposed to be the big day. My induction was scheduled for 7:30 am and all seemed to be according to plan. However, little Michaela decided that now, 7:30 wasn't soon enough for her.

I started having contractions at 3 am. Within 1 hour they went from being 8 minutes apart to 3 minutes apart. We arrived at the hospital at 6:30 with the contractions a constant 3 minutes apart. The set me up on all of the monitors and began watching my contractions. At that time I was 3 cm dilated. After some difficulty monitoring her heart rate using the external monitors, at 8:30 they broke my water and switched to internal monitors. My contractions progressed normally for about an hour before they started the pitocin. Once they started the pitocin they intensified a bit but didn't become any more frequent. What they did notice however, was that her heart rate seemed to drop with every contraction. At 12:30 after 9 hours of labor I decided to opt for the epidural. I was 5 cm dilated and more or less stuck. They increased the pitocin a bit and at 1:30 I was 5.5-6cm dilated. For the next six hours I stayed at this point without any progression. The doctor and nurses had serious reservations about increasing the pitocin any further because with every contraction her heart rate dropped to a concerning 90 beats per minute. Of course it stabilized after every contraction but in order to make my labor progress the contractions needed to be more frequent and stronger which also meant more frequent drops in her heart rate. At 7:30 pm the doctor thought it necessary to consider a c-section. I hadn't progressed in 6 hours and there was nothing they could do to safely encourage my body to do so. I was terrified but knew that it was what I must do for the safety of my baby girl.

After some preparation at 8:30 they began the surgery. Michaela was born at 8:56pm weighing 7lbs 15oz and was 21 inches long. She had a beautiful head full of curly dark hair I watched from a distance as they cleaned her and stitched me up. They finally finished the surgery at somewhere close to 10 and I was able to hold her at long last. She is absolutely perfect!!

We spent the next 4 days in the hospital and finally returned home on Sunday, May 13th--Mother's Day. Probably the very best Mother's Day gift I could have ever asked for. Trying to adjust to life at home with a new born is a difficult task and quite exhausting but I am happy to do it. Recovering from my surgery is difficult and I'm still in a lot of pain which hopefully will subside soon.

Week 41: *Gasp* I'm going to be a MOM!!!

Ok, so my stubborn little child has not yet made her appearance. She has pretended like she was ready a few times only to laugh at me when we finally got to the hospital.

So here I am a mere hours before my scheduled induction and I'm slightly terrified. The whole thought that I'm going to be a mom in less than 2 days is overwhelming. I think it was easier to deal with the idea that she could come at anytime but having a more definite point to focus on has just made me freak out more. I have felt all along that I was ready with the nursery and all and then today I am struck with an overwhelming feeling of unpreparedness. This morning I woke up early to spend some time with Alex before he left for work. I quickly became consumed by all of the little household chores that needed to be done and decided that I would leave work at 2:30 to have some time to finish up everything at a decent time tonight and still try and get a good night's sleep--from what I hear will be my last for a very long time. Having finally made it home I am quite frustrated with myself for going to work at all. My mind was all over the place and I did my absolute best to try and focus on my work and keep myself busy but as a result I wasn't able to leave until 4. This put me home considerably later than anticipated and as a result has completely drained any drive to accomplish the necessary tasks of this evening. I know they all must be completed before tomorrow but I am encountering much difficulty in finding the motivation to do so.

I am freaked out. I don't really know how else to put that. There is so much to think about and so much on my mind. So here is the low down on what is supposed to happen tomorrow. At 6:30 am, I am supposed to call and make sure that everything is still good for me to come in at 7:30. As long as everything is still the way it is supposed to be I will then go to the hospital. After about 30 minutes of prepping me and watching what my body is doing on its own, they will start the Cervadel. This is supposedly a small piece of fabric that has a time release of medication to ripen my cervix. This is designed to slowly release for 12 hours. After those 12 hours if I am making progress as I should, they will start the Pitocin to increase the frequency and intensity of my contractions. My doctor says that she anticipates that I won't actually deliver until some time on Thursday. This means a minimum of 18 hours of labor. That is a bit of a daunting forecast. Also, I'm stressed!

You see, I work with my mom in a small office and we are the only two in the office so I will obviously be out of the office tomorrow which can prevent her from being there with me. So I'm hoping that by some chance I don't actually deliver until late tomorrow evening or later in the day on Thursday. I'm sure that it is infrequent that you hear a woman ask for her labor to be long, but I just don't want my mom to miss it. It is her first grandchild and I just want my mom to be there for the delivery. Let me clarify that by the way--there at the hospital, NOT there in the room. Alex will be there the whole time and that is truly what is most important but I just can't imagine my mom not being there. I guess I just have to rely on God because these next few days are bound to be difficult!!

Week 40: Where is my baby???

So I was due yesterday and here I am still pregnant. I know that due dates are only and estimate but I am just really wanting to meet my baby girl. I'm cranky and way past miserable and every little twinge I am holding my breath that it turns into a contraction. I know that no matter what I will definitely be having this baby by Thursday (being induced on Wednesday) but the whole thought of induction really freaks me out.

I know that there are tons of women who are induced and still have healthy deliveries without the necessity of any intervention but there are also the other statistics...

30% of all inductions result in c-sections!!!

I know that there are also tons of women who have c-sections and are fine with healthy babies but again, I am afraid of a c-section. I just feel like if I am induced it could be forcing something that my body isn't ready for, but at the same time, if I wait it may result in this child just continuing to grow and being too large for me to deliver which could result in a c-section again. Induction can also put a lot of stress on the baby. I just don't want to pump my body and hers full of drugs to get her to come out, especially since I've heard that it is practically impossible to deliver after an induction without an epidural and I would really like to try and do it naturally. It is so funny how none of these things had really ever occurred to me before I got pregnant. I mean understandably so, why consume your thoughts with what decisions you'll make when you happen to be pregnant if you aren't? But what is so bizarre to me is the fact that this is all that I can think about. Honestly, I don't think a single day goes by that I don't think about when I might go into labor or what it will feel like? Whether or not I will be able to handle the pain without an epidural and how long it will take?

I think at this point the hardest part is just waiting. I get really anxious every time Alex leaves for fear that I will go into labor while he is gone. I know that very rarely does labor progress so quickly that he couldn't make it back in time but I don't want to be alone when it happens. All day I pray that nothing happens until I get home and he is there with me and then I pray all night that I will start having contractions. I never thought that I would actually be praying for pain--but here I am, every night I pray that I will go into labor before the morning. I know that everything will happen on God's timing but at this point I feel like all of the doctors are saying she's ready, I'm ready, and it should just happen. It is especially frustrating because everyone had anticipated that I would deliver early and now here I am "past due."

I'm just going crazy because everything is ready. The car seat is in the car, the bag is packed, the nursery is ready and the only thing missing is Michaela. It just feels so empty and I don't know when it will feel right or feel complete and I am going crazy with the unknown. It just feels like nothing has progressed. I know that I don't know whether or not I have dilated any further or whether or not she has dropped any further into position but it just doesn't feel like anything has changed. It still feels like she is high, I haven't been having any regular contractions and I feel like I don't know what to do.

I have been reading up on acupressure and reflexology and how those can be used to encourage labor. We have tried some of the pressure point and massage techniques but my hands and fee are so swollen that we can't apply enough pressure to the points. I mean I get big indents in my legs where the water pockets have been pushed aside but it still doesn't result in any contractions or labor progression. I guess she just really isn't ready to come out yet. Oh well--I will just have to wait.

Week 39: No progress

At my doctor's appointment a mere 4 days before my due date I was still only 1.5 cm dilated and 50% effaced. The baby is still engaged -3. My doctor has scheduled an induction for May 9th at 7:30am if she doesn't decide to get here before then. I have one more doctor's appointment before then.