Week 1: She's PERFECT!!!!

So, Wednesday was supposed to be the big day. My induction was scheduled for 7:30 am and all seemed to be according to plan. However, little Michaela decided that now, 7:30 wasn't soon enough for her.

I started having contractions at 3 am. Within 1 hour they went from being 8 minutes apart to 3 minutes apart. We arrived at the hospital at 6:30 with the contractions a constant 3 minutes apart. The set me up on all of the monitors and began watching my contractions. At that time I was 3 cm dilated. After some difficulty monitoring her heart rate using the external monitors, at 8:30 they broke my water and switched to internal monitors. My contractions progressed normally for about an hour before they started the pitocin. Once they started the pitocin they intensified a bit but didn't become any more frequent. What they did notice however, was that her heart rate seemed to drop with every contraction. At 12:30 after 9 hours of labor I decided to opt for the epidural. I was 5 cm dilated and more or less stuck. They increased the pitocin a bit and at 1:30 I was 5.5-6cm dilated. For the next six hours I stayed at this point without any progression. The doctor and nurses had serious reservations about increasing the pitocin any further because with every contraction her heart rate dropped to a concerning 90 beats per minute. Of course it stabilized after every contraction but in order to make my labor progress the contractions needed to be more frequent and stronger which also meant more frequent drops in her heart rate. At 7:30 pm the doctor thought it necessary to consider a c-section. I hadn't progressed in 6 hours and there was nothing they could do to safely encourage my body to do so. I was terrified but knew that it was what I must do for the safety of my baby girl.

After some preparation at 8:30 they began the surgery. Michaela was born at 8:56pm weighing 7lbs 15oz and was 21 inches long. She had a beautiful head full of curly dark hair I watched from a distance as they cleaned her and stitched me up. They finally finished the surgery at somewhere close to 10 and I was able to hold her at long last. She is absolutely perfect!!

We spent the next 4 days in the hospital and finally returned home on Sunday, May 13th--Mother's Day. Probably the very best Mother's Day gift I could have ever asked for. Trying to adjust to life at home with a new born is a difficult task and quite exhausting but I am happy to do it. Recovering from my surgery is difficult and I'm still in a lot of pain which hopefully will subside soon.

Week 41: *Gasp* I'm going to be a MOM!!!

Ok, so my stubborn little child has not yet made her appearance. She has pretended like she was ready a few times only to laugh at me when we finally got to the hospital.

So here I am a mere hours before my scheduled induction and I'm slightly terrified. The whole thought that I'm going to be a mom in less than 2 days is overwhelming. I think it was easier to deal with the idea that she could come at anytime but having a more definite point to focus on has just made me freak out more. I have felt all along that I was ready with the nursery and all and then today I am struck with an overwhelming feeling of unpreparedness. This morning I woke up early to spend some time with Alex before he left for work. I quickly became consumed by all of the little household chores that needed to be done and decided that I would leave work at 2:30 to have some time to finish up everything at a decent time tonight and still try and get a good night's sleep--from what I hear will be my last for a very long time. Having finally made it home I am quite frustrated with myself for going to work at all. My mind was all over the place and I did my absolute best to try and focus on my work and keep myself busy but as a result I wasn't able to leave until 4. This put me home considerably later than anticipated and as a result has completely drained any drive to accomplish the necessary tasks of this evening. I know they all must be completed before tomorrow but I am encountering much difficulty in finding the motivation to do so.

I am freaked out. I don't really know how else to put that. There is so much to think about and so much on my mind. So here is the low down on what is supposed to happen tomorrow. At 6:30 am, I am supposed to call and make sure that everything is still good for me to come in at 7:30. As long as everything is still the way it is supposed to be I will then go to the hospital. After about 30 minutes of prepping me and watching what my body is doing on its own, they will start the Cervadel. This is supposedly a small piece of fabric that has a time release of medication to ripen my cervix. This is designed to slowly release for 12 hours. After those 12 hours if I am making progress as I should, they will start the Pitocin to increase the frequency and intensity of my contractions. My doctor says that she anticipates that I won't actually deliver until some time on Thursday. This means a minimum of 18 hours of labor. That is a bit of a daunting forecast. Also, I'm stressed!

You see, I work with my mom in a small office and we are the only two in the office so I will obviously be out of the office tomorrow which can prevent her from being there with me. So I'm hoping that by some chance I don't actually deliver until late tomorrow evening or later in the day on Thursday. I'm sure that it is infrequent that you hear a woman ask for her labor to be long, but I just don't want my mom to miss it. It is her first grandchild and I just want my mom to be there for the delivery. Let me clarify that by the way--there at the hospital, NOT there in the room. Alex will be there the whole time and that is truly what is most important but I just can't imagine my mom not being there. I guess I just have to rely on God because these next few days are bound to be difficult!!

Week 40: Where is my baby???

So I was due yesterday and here I am still pregnant. I know that due dates are only and estimate but I am just really wanting to meet my baby girl. I'm cranky and way past miserable and every little twinge I am holding my breath that it turns into a contraction. I know that no matter what I will definitely be having this baby by Thursday (being induced on Wednesday) but the whole thought of induction really freaks me out.

I know that there are tons of women who are induced and still have healthy deliveries without the necessity of any intervention but there are also the other statistics...

30% of all inductions result in c-sections!!!

I know that there are also tons of women who have c-sections and are fine with healthy babies but again, I am afraid of a c-section. I just feel like if I am induced it could be forcing something that my body isn't ready for, but at the same time, if I wait it may result in this child just continuing to grow and being too large for me to deliver which could result in a c-section again. Induction can also put a lot of stress on the baby. I just don't want to pump my body and hers full of drugs to get her to come out, especially since I've heard that it is practically impossible to deliver after an induction without an epidural and I would really like to try and do it naturally. It is so funny how none of these things had really ever occurred to me before I got pregnant. I mean understandably so, why consume your thoughts with what decisions you'll make when you happen to be pregnant if you aren't? But what is so bizarre to me is the fact that this is all that I can think about. Honestly, I don't think a single day goes by that I don't think about when I might go into labor or what it will feel like? Whether or not I will be able to handle the pain without an epidural and how long it will take?

I think at this point the hardest part is just waiting. I get really anxious every time Alex leaves for fear that I will go into labor while he is gone. I know that very rarely does labor progress so quickly that he couldn't make it back in time but I don't want to be alone when it happens. All day I pray that nothing happens until I get home and he is there with me and then I pray all night that I will start having contractions. I never thought that I would actually be praying for pain--but here I am, every night I pray that I will go into labor before the morning. I know that everything will happen on God's timing but at this point I feel like all of the doctors are saying she's ready, I'm ready, and it should just happen. It is especially frustrating because everyone had anticipated that I would deliver early and now here I am "past due."

I'm just going crazy because everything is ready. The car seat is in the car, the bag is packed, the nursery is ready and the only thing missing is Michaela. It just feels so empty and I don't know when it will feel right or feel complete and I am going crazy with the unknown. It just feels like nothing has progressed. I know that I don't know whether or not I have dilated any further or whether or not she has dropped any further into position but it just doesn't feel like anything has changed. It still feels like she is high, I haven't been having any regular contractions and I feel like I don't know what to do.

I have been reading up on acupressure and reflexology and how those can be used to encourage labor. We have tried some of the pressure point and massage techniques but my hands and fee are so swollen that we can't apply enough pressure to the points. I mean I get big indents in my legs where the water pockets have been pushed aside but it still doesn't result in any contractions or labor progression. I guess she just really isn't ready to come out yet. Oh well--I will just have to wait.

Week 39: No progress

At my doctor's appointment a mere 4 days before my due date I was still only 1.5 cm dilated and 50% effaced. The baby is still engaged -3. My doctor has scheduled an induction for May 9th at 7:30am if she doesn't decide to get here before then. I have one more doctor's appointment before then.

Week 38: S-L-O-W Baby

So, our dear sweet baby girl has decided that she is still content and warm there inside me. Despite the contractions I have been having she has not dropped, nor has my dilation progressed with any notable change. In a week I have gone from 1cm to 1.5cm and from 30% effaced to 40% effaced. At this rate I should be ready to deliver in somewhere around, I don't know 18 WEEKS!!!

But alas, don't let me make you feel as if I am miserably uncomfortable running to the bathroom every 15 minutes, or that sleeping has become any sort of a complication or God forbid that I stare disdainfully at the chipped polish on my toenails knowing that there is absolutely no way I will be able to either remove or re-polish them any time in the near future. Oh no, don't let me convince you of these things. Rather, continue to ask me "Is she here yet?!?!" or "When are we going to have this baby?" Please don't stop to consider that I am well aware of the fact that "You're HUGE!!"

Let me break down these statements for you...

"Is she here yet?!?!?"-- Oh yes, I'm sorry, I forgot to mention it I did have her already. Just made a quick stop at the hospital as I passed by on my way home from work and still made it home in time to make dinner, managed to get a full night of sleep and arrive at work today looking just the same as yesterday. Oh, the large bulge in my midsection is just last night's dinner it was too delicious to pass up seconds.

"When are we going to have this baby?"-- Sorry I didn't realize this was a group effort. Why don't we compare our schedules and find out what time works best for you? Or better yet, if WE are having this baby then why have I been the only one carrying her for the past 9 months? If WE are having this baby, why don't you take over carrying her for the remainder of the pregnancy. I'm sure you'll fair just fine at this point she only kicks you in the ribs about 50 times each day.

"You're HUGE!!"--Really? I hadn't noticed. I thought that there were magic fairies in my closet shrinking all of my clothes and I thought that Alex had just replaced the mirror in our bedroom with a fun house mirror. I actually chuckle every time I look at it.

On a less sarcastic note...

Update from the doctor and my ultrasound appointment have revealed the following:
As I mentioned above I have progressed from 1 cm to 1.5 and am now 40% effaced, however the doctor was very adamant to ensure that I was prepared to go to the hospital as she thinks she may be seeing me there rather than in her office next week. Additionally, if I don't go into labor before my next appointment on Monday, we are going to talk about possibly inducing--after my due date of course. She had also scheduled an ultrasound to get an estimated weight on the baby. The ultrasound was yesterday and was probably the coolest of all of my ultrasound appointments. I was actually able to see features on her face!! I have never seen a 2D ultrasound come out so clearly and it just made me want her here that much more. The estimated that her current weight is 7lbs 7oz. Of course that is just an estimate and those estimates are often off by as much as a pound. Also, for the first time I got really sick during the ultrasound. First let me say it has been at least 4 months or more since I have laid on my back for any period of time and after laying on my back for nearly 45 minutes for an ultrasound, all of the added weight pressing on all of the blood vessels in my back I started to get nauseous and black out. This really freaked out my student who was sitting in on the ultrasound which actually made the situation quite a bit more humorous.

At any rate, if that is the correct weight...pray she gets here before she gets any bigger :-/

Week 37: Baby Come OUT!!!

Dear Michaela,

I just want to express how much I have enjoyed carrying you for the last 37 weeks. The experience has truly been invaluable. While I am sure that you are pleasantly warm there resting on my bladder, giving it a swift kick every so often, don't you think it is about time you came out?

Honestly sweetheart, I'm not trying to rush you. I am truly looking out only for your best interest. You see, I know that you are growing because your kicks are more intense. I just think that space must be growing awfully small for a growing girl. Once you come out you have a wonderful room waiting for you. It is much larger with plenty of room for you to stretch and play. There is a wonderful soft crib and swing and beautiful pictures that hang on the walls. You will finally get to meet your daddy--to put a face with all of the music and singing. Also we have so many beautiful outfits for you and if you wait much longer they just won't fit.

Please know that Mommy loves you very much but she just feels like she's being selfish. There are so many people who want to meet you and I feel like I should share you with them. If you don't come out soon everyone will just think that I'm trying to keep you from them and then they'll get upset. I know that mommy has sounded a bit grumpy lately, but don't worry--I promise I won't be that way once you get here. You see as you get bigger and run out of space there inside, mommy is also being stretched. Stretched so much her clothes don't exactly fit and her back is getting kinda achy. I know you probably don't feel like you are ready to come out but all of the doctors assure me that you have everything that you need to make it. I promise it's not as cold out here as we say it is and we'll make sure to keep you nice and warm.

I know it is all on your time. Just know that Mommy and Daddy both love you very much and can't wait to meet you.

Love,

Mommy

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So that's the nice way of saying--I'm miserable. PLEASE GET THIS KID OUT OF ME!!!!

I've been having contractions for the last few days. They are still irregular and not very intense. According to the doctor, my cervix is open but not dilated. I'm 90% certain that I lost my mucus plug yesterday which, according to all of my parental female friends, means that I can expect to go into labor sometime in the next few days. Of course the medical personnel say that means sometime in the next few weeks. We're hoping the former rather than the latter. We finished our childbirth classes last night which now have me feeling sufficiently prepared to care for the life of another human being (please note the sarcasm!). I am very anxious to meet her though, as is Alex. We have finished her room and finally feel adequately prepared in terms of items for her arrival.


We have become very well informed on all of the alleged methods for encouraging labor, however, as of yet none of them are producing any real results. There is of course the walking, spicy food, pineapple, and other means. I am reluctant to try the Castor oil but it may very well come to that. Just pray that she gets here soon before I explode. My patience is wearing thin.

Week 35: You expect my body to do WHAT!?!?!

Being 35 weeks pregnant we are gladly approaching the due date very quickly. At this point our child birth classes are well underway each week focusing on a new and more devastating process of labor, but we'll come back to that.

The pregnancy has really begun to wear on me. It is finally to the point where if my shoes don't slip on, I'm not wearing them. Not to mention the fact that my feet look like overstuffed sausages and I'm thinking of posting a reward for anyone who can help me locate my ankles. The swelling has gotten terrible over the past few weeks. This has been especially difficult. With the weather finally warm enough that I may once again don my coveted flip flops only to find that they or any other strappy shoes cause my feet to resemble tied hams. My hands have also gotten much worse. Apparently I am experiencing a normal swelling complication that causes my hands to go numb periodically. This is because my hands have become so swollen that they pinch a nerve cutting off sufficient circulation and causing the tinglies. I have officially reduced my wardrobe to 3 pairs of pants and approximately 5 shirts--except for the occasional surge of creativity when I take my scissors to a t-shirt and present option number 6. The morning sickness is slowly returning and with it a lack of appetite. To prematurely summarize--I'm ready to get this kid out of me.

That sentiment however comes with a very painful realization (pun intended). You see, as I mentioned previously about our childbirth classes we are steadily faced with increasingly devastating images of labor and the labor process. Not to sound like a total idiot as I'm sure I may be coming across at this point but I'm not sure that I'm prepared for my body to accommodate the necessary expansion to allow for a child to pass from me. It is not as if I have never considered the fact that eventually she is going to come out of me and I was well aware of the exit location, however, I had never had to watch it happen before. Now that I'm sounding not only like an idiot, but a sheltered idiot, I feel that I must elaborate.

Throughout high school, I, just like any other student, attended several sex education and health courses, however, by some means I never saw "the video" before. Either because it wasn't shown or I happened to be absent on those particular days. At any rate, just viewing that caused actual physical pain so terrifying that I'm thinking it would be far less painful to just let her stay in there and keep on growing. Of course I am aware of the potential alternative of cesarean and yet that is even more terrifying for various reasons. First, I hate doctors. If I had any other option I am sure that I would live a blissful existence free from the touch of medical professionals and yet my hypochondrias is constantly directing me back into their care. Surgery scares me, recovery time is much longer, as is the risk of infection. I would much prefer to deliver naturally regardless of the overwhelming pain that I am sure to endure.

Naturally, I am aware of the options for pain relief, such as an epidural, and yet in all of my qualms about the pain and agony of labor there is a certain part of me that seriously would rather do it without any pain medication. It has been mentioned that when a woman does opt for an epidural she often must be prompted when to push because so much of the sensation has been removed. She still feels the pressure but not the pain indicative of the necessity to push. Additionally, the use of an epidural eliminates the ability to walk around to encourage labor and the ability to utilize various birthing positions. Probably the most inane concern of all is my feeling of accomplishment. In a way I feel like labor is the most physically intensive activity that any human will ever face. There is a certain rationale that if the labor is medicated I am "a wuss." Not that having a child medicated, or unmedicated is any small feat but I feel as if there will be a greater sense of accomplishment if I do it on my own. After all, women have been doing it for centuries...

Of course my opinion will undoubtedly change when faced with the blinding pain of labor.

Week 31: Getting Bigger

The last few weeks have met us with some unfortunate circumstances which have consumed all of my time and therefore have prevented me from posting. I know that sounds like an excuse but let me fill you in...

On February 15th, Alex fell off of a telephone pole at work and sprained 3 vertebrae and fractured his shin. This meant that he was on crutches and off work for the last few weeks. This also meant that he relied heavily upon me for nearly all of his basic necessities. While it was exhausting, it did give me a glimpse into what it will be like to have someone totally dependent upon me...it was scary... He is doing much better now. He is off of the crutches and slowly regaining strength in his leg. His back is still giving him trouble. He just had an MRI on Thursday to further investigate the extent of his injuries. We will find out the results of the MRI on Monday at his next doctor's appointment. He has also returned to work on light duty meaning office work which he hates.

In other news, my mom also had a brief hospital stay in the last few weeks. She had a lump in one of her breasts which had been growing ever larger for the past 3 months. I finally convinced her to get it checked out and they decided to admit her to the hospital and remove the lump. They haven't yet told her what it was but thankfully, don't think it was cancer. Her hospital stay also left me to manage the office where we work for a few days which was stressful to say the least. She was also diagnosed with diabetes which has her a bit stressed out and has forced her to change her diet.

During this stressful week, I began having some sharp pains in my lower abdomen. I figured I would put them off for as long as possible but after 3 days of them getting worse and then being accompanied by a fever and persistent vomiting, we called my doctor. It was recommended that I go to the hospital for further investigation. They determined that everything was fine with Michaela and the pains weren't Braxton Hicks or anything to be concerned about but likely her hitting a nerve when she was moving. The pains have since subsided. I also had a doctor's appointment on Monday where they determined that I might be gaining too much weight, so I've been scheduled for an ultrasound on Monday the 12th to check the weight of the baby. This has really been concerning me and so I've been doing everything I can to be as healthy as possible. We also start our child birth classes on Monday which is exciting and a bit scary as well because that means we are getting really close.

She is moving all the time which I love and can't wait to meet her, but I can't shake the feeling that I'm just not quite ready. Hopefully after the classes I will feel better prepared.

Week 26: Still pregnant....

I suppose that looking at the title of this post the emotion that is coming through is annoyance. Well...I am slightly annoyed. Not with the pregnancy. On the whole the only major complaint that I have with the pregnancy is the heartburn. Every other symptom that has come with it has be relatively uneventful and as soon as the symptoms are gone, so are the memories of it's annoyance. With that having been said, I'm just overall frustrated with several of the following:

-Moods: I hate the fact that I feel as if I have absolutely no control over my own emotions. I hate that I start crying for absolutely no reason and have no way of stopping myself. I hate that I love my husband so much and yet develop an innate disdain for him over something relatively unimportant. I hate that I can go from laughter to tears in a nanosecond.

-Sleep: I hate that I never feel rested. That I can go to bed at 8:30 and a full 9 hours later still feel as exhausted as if I never went to sleep. I hate the way my hips hurt when I lay on my side--but have no option to turn over. I hate that I lay there awake in the middle of the night staring at the clock as it ticks away each minute while my loving husband snores next to me.

-Clothing: I hate that I have one of the most wonderful wardrobes that I've ever owned and every morning as I walk into my closet I have to by pass all of my favorite items to choose from the one of 5 things that actually fit. I hate that when I put any one of those 5 items on that I still just feel incredibly overweight and not at all pregnant.

-Abnormal: I hate that I feel so abnormal in regards to this whole pregnancy. I'm annoyed with the fact that I don't have that beautiful pregnant lady glow, that I don't feel beautiful. I'm more perplexed than annoyed by the fact that I don't have any weird cravings, I don't have to pee every 10 minutes. I also just feel like I'm lazy rather than enjoying my well deserved rest.

-Fears: I am so frustrated with all of the overwhelming fears that I am experiencing in regards to everything with this pregnancy. I hate that I am terrified to give birth and to be a mother. I'm so sick of the nightmares and the dreams that are so vivid that I question whether or not it actually happened. I'm so terrified to be a bad mother. I'm afraid that I won't be everything that she will need, that I won't know how to care for her and that I won't be prepared.

Much of that last frustration has developed with beginning the process of registering for baby items. Baby's R Us has been kind enough to provide a new parent's checklist on their website. The awful thing about it though is the fact that almost half of the stuff on the list I had no idea I needed or even existed. Additionally, I'm not even sure that I will know how to use the items when I do have them. And then for the things that I do need, how many? How many receiving blankets should we buy? How many spit rags? Should I go ahead and buy diaper rash cream? What baby monitors are best to buy? Should I go by the customer referral or should I depend on the features? Are the sound ones enough or should we get the ones with video capability? What happens if she comes early and we are unprepared? How will I know when I'm going into labor? What do I take to the hospital? How will I know the difference between Braxton Hicks and actual contractions? Should I get an IV? Should I opt for the epidural?

In the process of registering I also encountered the terrifying contraption that is the breast pump. While I have no question that I intend on breastfeeding, the breast pump absolutely terrifies me. Now I've become aware of several options for the pump: the electric, battery powered and the manual hand pump. I have separate and very valid concerns regarding each of the 3. The electric pump concerns me in there not being any suction control. So what happens if it "sucks" harder or faster than I produce. I can't imagine the awful pain that will inflict upon my already sore nipples. Then there is the battery powered...so mid pump the battery just dies...what then? I'm all ready to pump out this milk to feed my child while I'm away and I'm unable to. Then there's the manual pump...just doing that to myself seem so foreign and bizarre. And then what happens if you get a cramp in your hand? Of course I suppose there is always the alternative of having someone else perform the pumping for you but that presents too much of the "milking a cow" phenomenon that weirds me out in the first place. And I am just certain that it will be painful. The whole process I'm sure will just be so painful that it is unbearable.

Oh what other joys and fears I have left to experience in the next 14 weeks we shall see...

P.S.--I've finally kicked the sickness--whatever it was that hung on so miserably long and got worse last week (why I didn't post). Now I have a broken toe--seems like small potatoes but it keeps me from waddling as I normally would and hurts like you wouldn't believe.

Week 24: Worn Out

We have finally finished the move. I say that in an exasperated tone as if 3 days to completely move and unpack is a long time. However these 3 days of 6am starts and 2 am finishes have been brutal. All of the energy that had seemed to arrive with the second trimester is quickly fading, not to mention that I have been battling some sort of illness for the past 2 weeks. Unlike anything I've ever experienced before, each day it decides whether or not it wants to manifest itself and if so which body system it wants to attack. Last week I had 2 days of no voice several other days of stomach issues and a stuffed up head. What is unique is that the days are not consecutive. For example Thursday I had no voice and a painful throat, Friday was stomach issues, Saturday was congestion and head issues but each day the symptoms were completely separate from any of the ones on the other days. Anyway, as a result of all of this my body is exhausted. The long days of moving and the illness is completely unbearable.

On the plus side of things the new place is absolutely fantastic. There are already several items in Michaela's closet and we will begin decorating her room this weekend when we go buy furniture. I can't wait. She moves a lot, but not enough to keep me up at night, as a matter of fact, I haven't been waking nearly as often as before or as I probably expected. It is as if my desire for sleep is more persistent than my desire to relieve my bladder of the pressure. What has become an issue in the past few days though is pain in my hips. Trying to be the good pregnant woman and sleep only on my sides (it has to be sides (plural) because trying to limit my position to left side alone is practically impossible) has led to severe pain in my hips and lower back. Everyone has recommended using the pillow between the legs but that is quite uncomfortable. Also not being able to cuddle with Alex as much has been quite frustrating as well. Everyday I am finding more and more articles of clothing that don't fit or fit just a little too snugly.

The nesting has definitely begun to set in as well. Part of this may be associated with having a fantastic new apartment that I don't want to dirty however, after living there for only 4 days I have already vacuumed 3 times and it drives me crazy to have even one dish in the sink. I can't leave the bedroom with the bed unmade and just the thought of the remote left on the coffee table rather than tucked neatly in the drawer where it belongs is absolutely maddening. Therefore, my current inability to do laundry (our washer is broken) is driving me crazy. Also there are 2 boxes that are yet to be unpacked, both of them containing shoes because we still need to buy the shoe holders (I will be buying them today!) The good thing about all of this though is that Alex seems to be catching my cleaning crazies as well--although at a much lesser degree. He has been diligent about at least putting his clothes in the hamper rather than on the floor and clearing his dishes after dinner. He has also been a huge help with me coping with my recent illness. He was kind enough to run me a nice warm bath last night which I was longing for to soothe my aching body. It was very nice to enjoy the warm water but apparently my body was rejecting all of the heat and I hadn't considered all of the cautionary notes about warm baths and hot tubs, etc. Quickly the bliss of the bath became a bubbly nightmare. My head started spinning and my heart throbbing in my head. Dizzily I stood up and clutched the side of the tub as I started to black out and then proceeded to throw up over and over again. I still feel miserable and can't wait until I can go home and go back to bed especially since today all of the symptoms of whatever this bug is I'm fighting have decided to manifest themselves.

Week 23: Moving Inside and Out

First I would like to mention our new layout. I felt that it was only fitting to make the page pink in anticipation for our little girl. With that having been said I feel the need to emphasize that I have no intention of forcibly making my child wear pink, nor do I have any intention of overly emphasizing traditional feminine roles. Now all caveats aside...on to my baby!!!

Everyday it brings me more and more joy as I feel her move. Her movements are becoming far more frequent and it is always really exciting. Alex has begun to feel her move as well which is a huge relief for both of us. I know that it has been difficult for him to feel any sense of bonding with her because she hasn't been moving in a way that he could feel her. When she did for the first time the sheer joy that lit up his face was like a kid at Christmas who had just opened that coveted gift that he was sure he wasn't going to get. I was so happy to see him so happy and pleased that there was finally a sense of bonding for him.

I had my doctor's appointment yesterday and everything seems to be going well. I am still gaining weight more quickly than I probably should but my doctor said that as long as I keep exercising and avoiding sugar that I should be fine. The avoidance of sugar--thankfully hasn't been too difficult because overall sweets are currently the least appealing of all foods to me. Also the reason for this avoidance is because of the high risk of gestational diabetes during pregnancy. I have a sugar test next month to determine whether or not this is something that they need to be concerned about. They are also going to do an blood count to check my iron. This concerns me a bit--even though I know that the treatment for low iron will just be iron supplements, I have had a tendency towards lower iron. With little Michaela sucking away all of my iron so that she can form strong muscles, there is a good chance that my iron will be low. While the obvious solution would be to consume more red meat--it is difficult to do so when the meat has to be prepared medium well to well done. Being married to a carnivorous rare meat eater, I have come to enjoy a bit of blood in my meat which hasn't been possible and therefore has led to a lack of desire for red meat.

All of the joys of the second trimester have also been in full force. Notably the increased energy and decreased illness. The heartburn however, is something that I don't see departing in the near future. Even in my efforts to avoid foods that have the potential to cause that burn it seems that something always causes it. Additionally, sleeping has become increasingly more difficult. As I grow larger I am finding it more and more difficult to find comfortable sleeping positions. All of the recommended pillow positions have become more of a hassle than help and also prevent me and my hubby from cuddling. By the end of the day when I am completely worn out, the desire for sleep is so overwhelming that the inability to do so is devastating.

Now that last line was probably a bit confusing...seeing as how I said the fatigue had improved and yet at the end of the day I am so fatigued that I can barely reach the bed. You see this is where the moving "out" part comes into play. As I have mentioned in a few of my previous posts we have been trying to buy a house. Well...we're moving...but not to the house. In a long scenario of utter frustration our lending company decided to pull our loan 2 days before closing and so we are off to another apartment. Initially I was quite discouraged about this situation and discontented by the fact that we wouldn't have a yard or space to raise our child, but then we found the most beautiful of all (reasonably priced) apartments in the St. Louis area. I am pleased with our new residence which boasts 300 sq. feet more than the house we were going to buy. Not to mention that it is a first floor apartment meaning--NO STAIRS and has been fully updated. The packing and moving process however has been exhausting. I am finding it difficult to comprehend just how we acquired so much stuff. It seems like the more we pack, the more we find. Not to mention how completely useless I feel and incapable because I can pack a box, but then I can't move it!!! Little Kayla and I are exhausted but once we finish with the move we can start decorating her room!!!

Week 22: Changes

Ok so first let me mention that I was certain I posted something for week 21--but apparently it slipped my mind. With that having been said, let me fill you in on what has been going on.

Michaela has been moving all the time which is absolutely wonderful. Every time she moves it is a wonderful little reminder of how special it is to have this little life growing inside of me. Alex still is having trouble feeling her mostly because every time that I tell him she is kicking, she stops when he puts his hand on my stomach. I feel pretty good in general too. The fatigue has improved a million times. I have actually been up until 11 or later 3 times this week. This is quite an accomplishment from my previous 8 o'clock bed times. Of course that might have something to do with the fact that I wake up 2 hours later...nevertheless it feels nice to not have to kick out house guests so that I can go to sleep.

In other news life has been super busy. Our closing date on our house has moved until January 5th which if you will look at your calendar is a mere 3 days away. The process involves so much more than anyone will ever tell you and is more physically and mentally exhausting that you could ever imagine. Especially when it comes to the waiting for the final approval. And the process is about to get even more exhausting. You see, we haven't even started packing yet. This is actually a very strategic move. My reasoning for this statement is that if by some chance this deal doesn't go through, I wouldn't have wanted to waste all of that effort. (Plus I just can't bring myself to face that daunting task!)

All of the winter holidays have also added to the stress of the recent weeks, not that I haven't enjoyed almost every minute of them but the rushing and traveling and marathon Christmas's have been tiring at best. It was fun to have everyone doting over how my stomach has grown and to receive presents even for our unborn daughter. I also registered for my childbirth classes today. This experience was most excellent. Far more exciting than I ever anticipated. Our classes start on March 5th and should be wrapping up just 2 weeks before our due date. This was really exciting. Just knowing that it is getting close to the time for our beautiful little daughter to be here is absolutely wonderful. Of course I am aware that the next few months mean even more stress and rushing--oh well I am sure that I will survive.