Being 35 weeks pregnant we are gladly approaching the due date very quickly. At this point our child birth classes are well underway each week focusing on a new and more devastating process of labor, but we'll come back to that.
The pregnancy has really begun to wear on me. It is finally to the point where if my shoes don't slip on, I'm not wearing them. Not to mention the fact that my feet look like overstuffed sausages and I'm thinking of posting a reward for anyone who can help me locate my ankles. The swelling has gotten terrible over the past few weeks. This has been especially difficult. With the weather finally warm enough that I may once again don my coveted flip flops only to find that they or any other strappy shoes cause my feet to resemble tied hams. My hands have also gotten much worse. Apparently I am experiencing a normal swelling complication that causes my hands to go numb periodically. This is because my hands have become so swollen that they pinch a nerve cutting off sufficient circulation and causing the tinglies. I have officially reduced my wardrobe to 3 pairs of pants and approximately 5 shirts--except for the occasional surge of creativity when I take my scissors to a t-shirt and present option number 6. The morning sickness is slowly returning and with it a lack of appetite. To prematurely summarize--I'm ready to get this kid out of me.
That sentiment however comes with a very painful realization (pun intended). You see, as I mentioned previously about our childbirth classes we are steadily faced with increasingly devastating images of labor and the labor process. Not to sound like a total idiot as I'm sure I may be coming across at this point but I'm not sure that I'm prepared for my body to accommodate the necessary expansion to allow for a child to pass from me. It is not as if I have never considered the fact that eventually she is going to come out of me and I was well aware of the exit location, however, I had never had to watch it happen before. Now that I'm sounding not only like an idiot, but a sheltered idiot, I feel that I must elaborate.
Throughout high school, I, just like any other student, attended several sex education and health courses, however, by some means I never saw "the video" before. Either because it wasn't shown or I happened to be absent on those particular days. At any rate, just viewing that caused actual physical pain so terrifying that I'm thinking it would be far less painful to just let her stay in there and keep on growing. Of course I am aware of the potential alternative of cesarean and yet that is even more terrifying for various reasons. First, I hate doctors. If I had any other option I am sure that I would live a blissful existence free from the touch of medical professionals and yet my hypochondrias is constantly directing me back into their care. Surgery scares me, recovery time is much longer, as is the risk of infection. I would much prefer to deliver naturally regardless of the overwhelming pain that I am sure to endure.
Naturally, I am aware of the options for pain relief, such as an epidural, and yet in all of my qualms about the pain and agony of labor there is a certain part of me that seriously would rather do it without any pain medication. It has been mentioned that when a woman does opt for an epidural she often must be prompted when to push because so much of the sensation has been removed. She still feels the pressure but not the pain indicative of the necessity to push. Additionally, the use of an epidural eliminates the ability to walk around to encourage labor and the ability to utilize various birthing positions. Probably the most inane concern of all is my feeling of accomplishment. In a way I feel like labor is the most physically intensive activity that any human will ever face. There is a certain rationale that if the labor is medicated I am "a wuss." Not that having a child medicated, or unmedicated is any small feat but I feel as if there will be a greater sense of accomplishment if I do it on my own. After all, women have been doing it for centuries...
Of course my opinion will undoubtedly change when faced with the blinding pain of labor.
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