Today is exactly 19 weeks into this pregnancy. I am just 4 days away from being able to gaze upon my beautiful child via ultrasound. I can't wait! This last week has been full of ups and downs and all around sheer craziness--please allow me to share:
In my last post I mentioned my online "friend" who was scheduled to deliver via c-section. Well, fortunately the surgery was successful, but unfortunately her dear son was only in this world for 16 minutes. Please continue to pray for their family as that kind of loss is surely one that will never be forgotten and that pain will surely not go away for a long while.
In other news this week has been absolutely crazy. Monday was committed to stringent house cleaning (perhaps the nesting is setting in already?) at any rate, every inch of our condo was scrubbed, sanitized and degermified which felt amazing but took up the whole day and grocery shopping didn't happen, so plan B was to go Tuesday before work. So late Monday night after Michaela had gone to bed and the house was quiet, Alex and I sat down to watch a movie (Fools Gold--which I DON'T recommend by the way). Lo and behold our crazy stray didn't want to let that happen.
Now if you are new to the story, let me fill you in on the "Crazy Stray." We live in a small condo community in a slightly underdeveloped area. The neighborhood is quiet and mostly tight knit, however, we have come to have about half a dozen stray cats in the neighborhood. Now in my experience a stray cat is just that--stray and doesn't stay in one place for to long, however, our ever so compassionate neighbors have taken to feeding and collaring these cats--thus they stick around. One in particular has become very comfortable in our little corner of the world. It all started about 5 weeks ago. It was a cold and stormy night, the wind was whipping through the trees and had pushed open our front door. Having been already nestled into our bed for the evening wasting our minds on late night comedy we had not realized that the door was open. My pregnant body soon urged me out of bed to empty my bladder when Alex called me back into our bedroom because one of the cats was making a very strange noise. When I returned to the bedroom I found a cat indeed, but it wasn't one of ours! In a pitch black room a stark white cat is a frightening sight. Well, with the assistance of our very territorial felines in tow we followed this intruder and ushered her out of the already open door. Freaked--but issued resolved...or so we thought.
Fast forward a few days. Again in the middle of the night a rousing commotion ensues on our deck/balcony, in which our cats were fighting with Crazy Stray through the screen door. Again, she was ushered away assuming the issue was resolved, however, for the last several weeks, each evening and/or morning, she returns outside our window quietly mewing requesting entry. These visits usually result in her lunging at the screen from one side and our cats lunging from the inside, Alex replacing the screen it its rightful place, shutting the window and us heading off to sleep. As riveting as her nightly visits and claw marks in our screens are we resolved that this was no life for us or this cat and called animal control. Their response was that they would not go on a wild goose chase to find a stray and that in order for them to pick her up we had to have her contained in some form or fashion...or deal with it. We let it go for a few days and then she came back on Monday. Seeing as we were completely disinterested in our movie and had just received our pet carrier back from my brother, we decided to make an attempt at trapping this cat.
One pet carrier, one can of tuna, one Crazy Stray. She was too smart--she wanted the tuna but not nearly enough to surrender her freedom by entering completely into the carrier, especially after Alex tried to trap her. But we were determined. So, off we went wandering around our quiet community at 11 pm looking for the stray that we had so vehemently insisted on keeping from our home. We found her and she followed us back to our patio. She was affectionate and very happy to have the tuna but still distrustful and wary of the carrier. With much brainstorming of the best way to trap her and time running out as the tuna can was nearly empty we decided that my burly husband would hold her to the ground and together we would usher her into the carrier, call the animal control and end this issue once and for all. Well...Alex got one firm hand on her just above the shoulders which ensued immediate terror and a fight response. The next 30 seconds were filled with flying fur, howling meows and fierce claw scratching. She was gone. 45 minutes spend in the brisk fall night befriending and feeding a stray in an effort to mislead her into entrapment only for her to get away. On the bright side of things she hasn't been back since so I guess it wasn't a complete loss.
Tuesday was hurried but uneventful. Wednesday met me with the beautiful opportunity of shopping alone. ::gasp:: I can honestly probably count on both hands the total number of times in the last two years in which I have been able to shop alone. It was a refreshing experience. Granted it was grocery shopping and not all that riveting but I bit the bullet and headed off to our new Wal-Mart Supercenter to get it done. Now, bate your breath for what I am about to reveal to you for in many ways this may be considered sac-religious blasphemy, but I love my new Supercenter! Reeling from my Wal-Mart super high and the great deals that I got while I was there, I headed home to find my loving husband and daughter setting the table for a dinner that was already prepared--I felt like a princess. It was a wonderful evening of lazy relaxation and curious peering into the open house of our neighbor which spurred the creative urge to rearrange our bedroom. All in all a top notch night.
Today has been bizarre in every way possible. Half of the city was shut down on a crazy man-hunt in which TWICE they stopped cars and took the WRONG MAN into custody. Then I get to work--and have to pee as I regularly do--you know being pregnant and all so I head to the bathroom. Now, I usually wear a body suit which hooks, much like a bra, in the crotch. I wear this body suit because it creates more support for my ever growing mid-section and allows my baby bump to look slightly less lumpy. Well as I was attempting to unlatch my body suit as a means to pull down my underwear and utilize the facilities, one of the hooks got caught on crotch of my underwear tearing it a la crotchless panties and causing me to do a lovely little jig around the bathroom as a means to unhook it and allow me to relieve myself.
The day has been wrought with other bizarrities but alas it's quitting time and I'm not staying any later than is absolutely necessary...Adios!
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Monday, October 6, 2008
Week 18: Blinded by our blessings...
Both times that I have become pregnant I have felt like I was truly so blessed and thanked God for the wonderful gift of life that He was giving to Alex and me. It wasn't until today that I was truly humbled by how much I take these, and every other blessing in my life for granted.
I spend a lot of time lurking on a message board BOTB. Today one of the regulars on the site posted a link to a friend's blog and asking for prayer for her family. As I read the blog I fell to pieces. Today is the day before this woman has her scheduled c-section. She is going into this surgery knowing that her baby that she has carried full term has very serious medical complications including genetic and chromosomal abnormalities. The best prognosis at this point is that the baby will be born alive and may live for a few minutes, maybe hours, very unlikely days. Even with this devastating prognosis, this amazing woman has never lost her faith. She continues to pray and spend time in God's word daily. She even has faith enough to believe that this is part of God's plan for her precious child either to return to his place in heaven or to be a testament of God's miraculous healing power should he defy all odds.
As I read her posts of faithful optimism, I was humbled for this woman never has stopped praising God even in the midst of losing the most precious gift and yet I, who have been blessed with so many things find myself often times too busy to thank God for all he has given me. After I read through much of her story, Michaela had awoken from her nap and I took her in my arms and just cried for this precious blessing that God has given me. These feelings are not uncommon for me. As regularly I feel almost somewhat guilty when I visit this message board. There are so many women on there who have been trying for babies for months and some even years and here I am pregnant with my second without even "trying." I wonder why God has made it so easy for me--for us? Or perhaps it's the exact opposite. A baby wasn't something that we prayed for, for many months rather it was a miraculous blessing that He provided for us that we then had to turn to Him that He would help us to be able to provide for all that she needs. He has! As I look back over the past two years and I see how many times that we would have gone without food so that she could eat or have diapers and yet we never went hungry and neither did she. As I look at how far He has brought us--to a point where money isn't a stressor and collectors don't ring our phones. How far we have come and yet we still cease to give the praise to the one who most deserves it. We didn't do this on our own!
Our BIG ultrasound is one week from today, when we will find out the sex of the baby. I am fearful. We have spent so much time guessing and questioning what we think it might be and have both resolved that we think that it is a boy--either out of hopeful optimism to have a child of each sex or some true predictive ability we have begun actually refering to the baby as "he." I am afraid that we will be disappointed if the baby is another girl. Not that we would love the baby any less than we love Michaela or would love a baby boy but the sense of "I hope, I hope, I hope" is the perfect means by which to be disappointed if for any reason it is not as was anticipated. Through the whole pregnancy I have done nothing more than hope and pray that we have another healthy baby and that a c-section and all of the other various complications of the first might be avoided, and yet I've let the hopeful wishes of pleasing my husband cloud the true prayers of my heart. I know that more than anything Alex hopes that this baby is a boy. I want him to be happy, and while my true prayer is only for a healthy baby (boy or girl), I find myself hoping for his sake that the baby is a boy. Again, the blessing of a wonderful child is clouded by the greed of our desires.
Whether boy or girl, the baby seems to be healthy, moving often and growing steadily. Please keep my "friend" and her family in your prayers that God will have His way in there family and do a miraculous healing both physically and emotionally.
I spend a lot of time lurking on a message board BOTB. Today one of the regulars on the site posted a link to a friend's blog and asking for prayer for her family. As I read the blog I fell to pieces. Today is the day before this woman has her scheduled c-section. She is going into this surgery knowing that her baby that she has carried full term has very serious medical complications including genetic and chromosomal abnormalities. The best prognosis at this point is that the baby will be born alive and may live for a few minutes, maybe hours, very unlikely days. Even with this devastating prognosis, this amazing woman has never lost her faith. She continues to pray and spend time in God's word daily. She even has faith enough to believe that this is part of God's plan for her precious child either to return to his place in heaven or to be a testament of God's miraculous healing power should he defy all odds.
As I read her posts of faithful optimism, I was humbled for this woman never has stopped praising God even in the midst of losing the most precious gift and yet I, who have been blessed with so many things find myself often times too busy to thank God for all he has given me. After I read through much of her story, Michaela had awoken from her nap and I took her in my arms and just cried for this precious blessing that God has given me. These feelings are not uncommon for me. As regularly I feel almost somewhat guilty when I visit this message board. There are so many women on there who have been trying for babies for months and some even years and here I am pregnant with my second without even "trying." I wonder why God has made it so easy for me--for us? Or perhaps it's the exact opposite. A baby wasn't something that we prayed for, for many months rather it was a miraculous blessing that He provided for us that we then had to turn to Him that He would help us to be able to provide for all that she needs. He has! As I look back over the past two years and I see how many times that we would have gone without food so that she could eat or have diapers and yet we never went hungry and neither did she. As I look at how far He has brought us--to a point where money isn't a stressor and collectors don't ring our phones. How far we have come and yet we still cease to give the praise to the one who most deserves it. We didn't do this on our own!
Our BIG ultrasound is one week from today, when we will find out the sex of the baby. I am fearful. We have spent so much time guessing and questioning what we think it might be and have both resolved that we think that it is a boy--either out of hopeful optimism to have a child of each sex or some true predictive ability we have begun actually refering to the baby as "he." I am afraid that we will be disappointed if the baby is another girl. Not that we would love the baby any less than we love Michaela or would love a baby boy but the sense of "I hope, I hope, I hope" is the perfect means by which to be disappointed if for any reason it is not as was anticipated. Through the whole pregnancy I have done nothing more than hope and pray that we have another healthy baby and that a c-section and all of the other various complications of the first might be avoided, and yet I've let the hopeful wishes of pleasing my husband cloud the true prayers of my heart. I know that more than anything Alex hopes that this baby is a boy. I want him to be happy, and while my true prayer is only for a healthy baby (boy or girl), I find myself hoping for his sake that the baby is a boy. Again, the blessing of a wonderful child is clouded by the greed of our desires.
Whether boy or girl, the baby seems to be healthy, moving often and growing steadily. Please keep my "friend" and her family in your prayers that God will have His way in there family and do a miraculous healing both physically and emotionally.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Week 17: Sleepless Nights...Already?
So, here we are at 17 weeks--just 2 weeks and 3 days until our "Big" ultrasound. On Monday we had another Dr. appointment and were able to hear the heart beat and discuss some of our concerns about the delivery with the doctor. She is very optimistic that a VBAC will be possible and is totally on board with my decision to go med-free on this delivery. That alleviated many of my fears and makes me love her that much more. I'm excited and looking forward to planning for the new baby. The excitement is some what secondary at the recent developments of sleepless nights. I might be mistaken but I don't remember having this much trouble sleeping this early in the pregnancy with Michaela.
At any rate, I'm cranky. I haven't slept in 2 days. I mean I'm sure I dozed off and on throughout the night both nights but I haven't seriously slept in 2 full nights. Here's the low down. Wednesday night I was so stressed after the worst possible day ever at work that I couldn't eat dinner and couldn't sleep. Last night, however, was a whole different can of worms. Let me share...
The day started like any other--dreading the thought of leaving my dear child to head into the corporate world. But I sucked it up and went to work--a relatively uneventful day (thankfully) followed by a leisurely dinner with the in-laws. At 7 we headed home put our child to sleep and Alex and I spent some time vegging in front of the t.v. Shortly after 8, I dozed off only to be awoken less than 30 minutes later with the worst imaginable itching all over my body. No rash, no bug bites, and no relief from scratching. After more than 45 minutes of scratching to no avail I had to find some relief and headed to Walgreens. Oatmeal, Calamine, Benedryl (I checked with the pharmacist--it's ok). After driving through what smelled like rotting flesh and sour milk on my way back home and nearly vomiting in my car, I made it back relatively unscathed but still itchy.
In the door, the phone rang and apparently I am the worst friend and bridesmaid ever because I totally flaked on the rehearsal that I thought was tonight but was last night. After apologizing my butt off because I felt terrible I headed to an oatmeal bath to hopefully relieve the itching. No such luck. Two benedryl down and headed back to bed. Soon the itching subsided and I was able to drift off.
Then crazy stray cat on our balcony decides that she wants into our house so on the other side of the screen she bellows for attention. Our cats answer the call and are curious what she's doing out there and a little ticked off that she's so close to their territory. I scare her off, only for her to come back a few minutes later. Again I shoo her away. About an hour later it sounds like the whole wall is going to cave in when crazy stray throws herself into the screen either in an attempt to break through it or intimidate our cats. At any rate I was awake...AGAIN! A cat fight through a screen is an interesting phenomenon. Once again we scared her off and that was the last of her last night. But obviously parched from this encounter, my obese lap cat decides that she is thirsty and the best location to get water is from the glass on my bedside table. Now since she is obese she cannot fit on the bedside table so she stood on my pillow and head in an effort to get a drink--mind you from a glass that her fat head can't even fit into. She then proceeded to whip me in the face with her tale and spill the water all over the floor. Of course being the brilliant animal that she is she came back a short time later forgetting that the water was now gone, to retrieve more. By this time I was ready to throw in the towel and give up on any efforts at sleep but alas I dozed off once more--and then Alex's alarm went off. It was like fighting a losing battle.
To sum it all up. I'm super cranky today. Feeling exhausted had soggy donuts for breakfast and forgot my lunch. And the cat was back this morning!
At any rate, I'm cranky. I haven't slept in 2 days. I mean I'm sure I dozed off and on throughout the night both nights but I haven't seriously slept in 2 full nights. Here's the low down. Wednesday night I was so stressed after the worst possible day ever at work that I couldn't eat dinner and couldn't sleep. Last night, however, was a whole different can of worms. Let me share...
The day started like any other--dreading the thought of leaving my dear child to head into the corporate world. But I sucked it up and went to work--a relatively uneventful day (thankfully) followed by a leisurely dinner with the in-laws. At 7 we headed home put our child to sleep and Alex and I spent some time vegging in front of the t.v. Shortly after 8, I dozed off only to be awoken less than 30 minutes later with the worst imaginable itching all over my body. No rash, no bug bites, and no relief from scratching. After more than 45 minutes of scratching to no avail I had to find some relief and headed to Walgreens. Oatmeal, Calamine, Benedryl (I checked with the pharmacist--it's ok). After driving through what smelled like rotting flesh and sour milk on my way back home and nearly vomiting in my car, I made it back relatively unscathed but still itchy.
In the door, the phone rang and apparently I am the worst friend and bridesmaid ever because I totally flaked on the rehearsal that I thought was tonight but was last night. After apologizing my butt off because I felt terrible I headed to an oatmeal bath to hopefully relieve the itching. No such luck. Two benedryl down and headed back to bed. Soon the itching subsided and I was able to drift off.
Then crazy stray cat on our balcony decides that she wants into our house so on the other side of the screen she bellows for attention. Our cats answer the call and are curious what she's doing out there and a little ticked off that she's so close to their territory. I scare her off, only for her to come back a few minutes later. Again I shoo her away. About an hour later it sounds like the whole wall is going to cave in when crazy stray throws herself into the screen either in an attempt to break through it or intimidate our cats. At any rate I was awake...AGAIN! A cat fight through a screen is an interesting phenomenon. Once again we scared her off and that was the last of her last night. But obviously parched from this encounter, my obese lap cat decides that she is thirsty and the best location to get water is from the glass on my bedside table. Now since she is obese she cannot fit on the bedside table so she stood on my pillow and head in an effort to get a drink--mind you from a glass that her fat head can't even fit into. She then proceeded to whip me in the face with her tale and spill the water all over the floor. Of course being the brilliant animal that she is she came back a short time later forgetting that the water was now gone, to retrieve more. By this time I was ready to throw in the towel and give up on any efforts at sleep but alas I dozed off once more--and then Alex's alarm went off. It was like fighting a losing battle.
To sum it all up. I'm super cranky today. Feeling exhausted had soggy donuts for breakfast and forgot my lunch. And the cat was back this morning!
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Week 15: I'm Baaaaack!
I'm not sure if anyone even reads this anymore or has any care to keep up with another 40 weeks of my rambling about my developing fetus, but it sure allows me an arena to share my thoughts, concerns, fears and excitements about becoming a mother of two.
Let me preface this post by saying that I have taken the time to read over my posts from the last pregnancy and in all ways this pregnancy is completely different. At this point I am reasonably established into the *2nd Trimester* the coveted achievement of pregnancy (short of the baby) in which you are sleeping through the night, have loads more energy and all of the morning sickness has subsided. Well...that's a CROCK! I'm not trying to sound ungrateful as I am ecstatic to be expecting our second child, however I am feeling miserable. I still have the *all day* sickness, headaches, exhaustion, and can't remember the last time I slept through the night. I'll warrant that the exhaustion might have something to do with chasing a toddler around all evening after working a full day, but it seems worse than what might be expected. At this point I am just trying to make it through each day--praying that the next will be better.
On a more positive note as I do find pregnancy to be a beautiful and exciting endeavor, I have begun to "show." In my mind it feels awfully early to be in maternity clothes even though I know that I was already in full maternity attire by this time with Michaela, however I also was eating everything in sight (go figure). I was able to purchase some new (and very fashionable) maternity clothes this weekend which helped with morale, even if nothing else. In other exciting news, I am fairly certain that late in the evenings when I'm lying in bed still and quiet that I can feel the flutter of my baby. Gentle, subtle little movements that I *think* are my baby. We have made every effort to include Michaela in the whole process while explaining to her that there is a baby in my tummy and that she is going to be a big sister. I know that her 16 month old mind only vaguely comprehends the concepts which are often abstract even for an adult but she very thoughtfully pats my tummy daily and says "baybee" in her adorable 16 month old speech. And ever so gently kisses my belly then smiles proudly as she says "baybee" again.
I can't imagine how another child could be nearly as cool or loving as my sweet little girl. I am so excited to see how her compassion will translate into the ever helpful big sister. So much is yet to come on this exciting journey. Next doctor's appointment is Monday--should be relatively uneventful but will hopefully get to hear the heartbeat again! Our BIG ultrasound is scheduled for October 13th when we will find out if we're having a boy or a girl. Until next time--here's hoping that the bliss of 2nd trimester will soon find me.
Let me preface this post by saying that I have taken the time to read over my posts from the last pregnancy and in all ways this pregnancy is completely different. At this point I am reasonably established into the *2nd Trimester* the coveted achievement of pregnancy (short of the baby) in which you are sleeping through the night, have loads more energy and all of the morning sickness has subsided. Well...that's a CROCK! I'm not trying to sound ungrateful as I am ecstatic to be expecting our second child, however I am feeling miserable. I still have the *all day* sickness, headaches, exhaustion, and can't remember the last time I slept through the night. I'll warrant that the exhaustion might have something to do with chasing a toddler around all evening after working a full day, but it seems worse than what might be expected. At this point I am just trying to make it through each day--praying that the next will be better.
On a more positive note as I do find pregnancy to be a beautiful and exciting endeavor, I have begun to "show." In my mind it feels awfully early to be in maternity clothes even though I know that I was already in full maternity attire by this time with Michaela, however I also was eating everything in sight (go figure). I was able to purchase some new (and very fashionable) maternity clothes this weekend which helped with morale, even if nothing else. In other exciting news, I am fairly certain that late in the evenings when I'm lying in bed still and quiet that I can feel the flutter of my baby. Gentle, subtle little movements that I *think* are my baby. We have made every effort to include Michaela in the whole process while explaining to her that there is a baby in my tummy and that she is going to be a big sister. I know that her 16 month old mind only vaguely comprehends the concepts which are often abstract even for an adult but she very thoughtfully pats my tummy daily and says "baybee" in her adorable 16 month old speech. And ever so gently kisses my belly then smiles proudly as she says "baybee" again.
I can't imagine how another child could be nearly as cool or loving as my sweet little girl. I am so excited to see how her compassion will translate into the ever helpful big sister. So much is yet to come on this exciting journey. Next doctor's appointment is Monday--should be relatively uneventful but will hopefully get to hear the heartbeat again! Our BIG ultrasound is scheduled for October 13th when we will find out if we're having a boy or a girl. Until next time--here's hoping that the bliss of 2nd trimester will soon find me.
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