Week 19: Peanut has a Name

So we found out on Monday that our lovely little Peanut no longer requires the androgyny of "Peanut" for a name. She is now Michaela. It is so wonderful to be able to call her a her rather than an it or baby or peanut. I have really started to feel her move more though it comes in spurts. Some days I feel like there is an epileptic fish in my stomach and other days wonder if the baby I saw on the monitor was actually mine. For the most part I am fairing pretty well. The fatigue is still ever present but not as daunting as a few weeks ago. I don't get sick as often from foods and the morning sickness is pretty much completely gone--with the exception of a few Mondays which may be a psychological manifestation of the sensation of illness as an aversion to work--the most likely explanation.

With everything that is going on lately I wonder how I am ever going to be able to handle a baby when I crumble the way I do under this pressure. I know I've mentioned it before but I cry all the time. I have finally finished this semester and I was thinking that would be a relief to not have to worry about classes but Christmas--as excited as I am about it, is really stressing me out this year. I know we still have a week but there are presents that aren't finished or purchased yet that are really worrying me. I mean I know we will have all of them on time but I just don't feel like there is enough time to take care of them all. As if that is not enough to worry about, we are trying to buy this house. And in all of our expert planning we decided that we should try and close before the end of the year which means not only do we have to finish purchasing and wrapping Christmas presents we also have to get inspections and insurance and appraisals and everything else done so that we can close on the 28th like we want to. That also means that the week of Christmas I am going to be packing all week. Let me also mention--I hate moving!! In the past 2 years I have moved 8 times and during all of those moves I have some how managed to just keep acquiring more and more stuff. Moving used to be easy 2 black trash bags and a suitcase and everything I owned was by my side. Now there is furniture and dishes and appliances and just the thought of moving it all--especially while being pregnant is absolutely overwhelming. And it isn't so much about doing the work. It is much more about not doing the work. Seeing as how I am pregnant there won't be any actual moving for me to do. With everyone so excited about Michaela on her way if I even think about lifting a laundry basket and "risking the health of that baby" I will certainly never hear the end of it. Now for most people I'm sure this would be a good thing...right? Not having to do any of the work. But for me this is the point of utter insanity. You see if I can't do anything, I can't assure that it is getting done the way that I want it to. But alas--I suppose Michaela and I will just have to sit back and supervise.