Uh...that branch doesn't look too sturdy...

So, it's Monday and I had a weekend. Parts of it were amazing, exciting, challenging, relaxing, rejuvenating. Parts of it were duty filled, agendas, meetings, obligations, and parts were down right begrudging and filled with dread. It was a perfect example of a random sampling of my life. I've chosen to abandon the notion that the weekend is like some super realm of existence when everything is amazing and life is perfect just because the vast majority of the population isn't putting in their 8 hours at the office. I've chosen to accept that each day presents new challenges and rewards and by and large each day is the result of what I make of it. It's just another opportunity.

One of the amazing parts of this weekend was Fall Retreat with the youth group. The weekend was focused on challenging the some 60+ students to acknowledge God's glory and the concept that "God is most glorified in us, when we are most satisfied in Him" While the focus of the weekend was for the teenagers, I feel like God uses every opportunity to speak to us, and He was definitely speaking to me this weekend.

All through scripture there are countless examples that everything God does is "to His glory" or "for His glory" or "to bring glory to the Lord" but He wants us to find our complete satisfaction in Him and when we do, it brings Him glory, because He is more than enough for us. I got to thinking about where I find my satisfaction...is it in the Lord? Sure, some of it, but largely I seek satisfaction in other things, and usually am found wanting which is surely not a matter of happenstance. When we are fully seeking our satisfaction in the Lord, we must respond to the plans that He has in store for us. We can't be so focused on our own plans that we lose sight of God's plans, but sometimes that means taking big risks.

Coming back from retreat, our youth service on Sunday morning was about going out on limb for God. In Psalm 37, David says, that he was young and now he is old, but in all his years, he has never seen the righteous forsaken (emphasis mine). When we respond to God's plan and go out on a limb for Him, we will never be let down, and so I started reflecting...

Going through this life we are presented with a lot of opportunities. Many of them are rewarding and awesome things that we shouldn't pass up, perhaps a new job opportunity, or 1/2 off of that hot pair of pumps you've been wanting, but just as frequently there are opportunities that we are presented with that we should clearly pass up. The chance to run a red light when no one is around, or wear hot pink stirrup pants with a leopard print leotard. The fashion faux pas is obvious, but not all opportunities are that cut and dry, especially when you are actively seeking God's plan in your life. How do you accurately acknowledge which opportunities are God given and which are self-appointed?

I think some of it comes down to satisfaction. God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in him. What am I satisfying by taking or passing up this opportunity? Am I truly seeking the Lord and finding my satisfaction in Him, or by taking this am I seeking to satisfy a financial need, or need for recognition? As I believe is the case with most women, especially wives and mothers, I have an overwhelming fear of letting people down. If I make an appointment I always arrive as early as possible, so as not to keep anyone waiting for me. I'm afraid of letting my husband down by not being a good enough wife, not being pretty enough or fit enough that he won't want people to meet me, he won't want to introduce me to his friends or co-workers. I have a fear of letting my children down--not spending enough time nurturing their little brains, not giving them enough love and affection. I worry about them spending their adult lives lying on the shrink's couch toting the phrase, "Mommy didn't love me enough" and in the same respect I worry about letting God down. What if the opportunity is God given and my logical reasoning separates me from that opportunity? Will it come around again? Will I still be able to fulfill the plan that He has for me and my family, or is this a one shot deal, a limited time offer, while supplies last?

The problem is that we can't be logical when we step out in faith. Faith is all about believing without seeing, and logic makes you look at the facts, believing and reasoning based on what you can see. It's not just about going with your gut, because sometimes it really is just the chili you ate last night, it's about a real heart issue, being so attuned to God that you are responding to His call, but how can you be sure that it's God who is calling? The answer is, you can't, and that is why we've gotta go out on a limb sometimes. This life is like a tree, every opportunity is a branch, our inclination is to use logic and grab the strong sturdy low branches that will hold up, but if by some freak chance they don't it's not that far of a fall, but sometimes it's about climbing all the way to the top, making big impacts, taking big chances, and by faith believing that the tiny seemingly weak branch is enough to support you, and knowing that sometimes the rigid oak tree that looks strong, can't sway in the storm like the seemingly weak weeping willow can.